Harry Potter and the mirror in the toilet
by crazy-weasley
Summary: This story don't make much sense, it's totally unrelated to any mirror. Just read and review.(completed)
1. The Chamber of Secrets

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter.  
  
Ch 1 The Chamber of Secrets  
  
We went to the girl's bathroom to look for Moaning Myrtle. When we arrived, we found her singing to herself.  
'Do, do, do, do... huh? What do you want?' she asked.  
'To learn how to throw books at you.' Harry replied.  
'Oh, that's easy, just take a book, any kind, swing an arm and let go of the book, it will fly through me it you are good. Five points if it goes through my stomach, ten points if it goes through my head. Anything else?' she asked.  
'Wicked! How do we get into the freaking chamber!' I yelled.  
'Oh, Harry, you just say OPEN UP in parseltougue, it'll sound like this, "Hesh-sha-ha-sa".'   
'Thanks Myrtle.' said Harry. Harry said that hissing word and the chamber opened. We jumped down and screamed like crazy. Then finally, we reached the bottom, we fell into a pile of bobbing green thing.  
'Uh-oh, don't tell me it's-' I said.  
'Devil's Snare!' yelled Harry.  
'Wicked!'  
'Just relax!' said Harry.  
'Where's Hermione when you need her.' I said.  
Then all of a sudden, it died. We walked down some stairs and suddenly, we were in a room. In the middle of the room stood- 


	2. The Mirror

Ch 2 The Mirror  
  
'Professer Quirrell' I yelled.   
'But I thought it was Tom Riddle. And Ginny, where's she?' asked Harry.  
'I don't know. She's not here.Alright, I see myself holding the stone, but how do I get it?' Asked Quirrel.  
'Wicked, you see a stone? But I see myself as Percy, and bloody hell, I'm holding a Firebolt. I look good!' I said.  
Quirrel said, 'Arrrrrggg...!'  
Suddenly, a voice out of nowhere spoke, 'Use the boy...use...'  
'Come here, you stupid block, now!' Quirrel yelled.  
'Wicked! Harry, he's calling you.' I said.  
'Huh? Oh, I see my parents, they are smiling at me and-'  
'Wicked!' I interrupted Harry.  
'-and they're still smiling at me, and oh no the are waving at me.'  
'Wicked' I said. Wood walked into the chamber of secrets wearing Quidditch robes and holding a cleansweep in a hand.  
'Hey Harry, hurry up, stop wasting time, the quidditch match is on! You better hurry, now come on!' He said.  
'Wicked!' 


	3. Quidditch

Ch 3 Quidditch  
  
We walked into the quidditch pitch. Professor Hooch went into the pitch, she blew the whistle and shouted,  
  
'Now I want a nice clean game, from all of you.' Dumbledore came up and sat beside me. His eyes kept twinkling.  
  
'Look over there what do you see, not there, there in Slytherin's area, do you see Severus, Professer Snape, see him talking to himself, you know what's he doing? I don't think you know, he's jinxing the broom.' he said.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'I'll stop it!' Dumbledore pointed his walking stick at Snape.  
  
'Five points if it hits Snape, ten if you hit Quirrel, twenty if you hit Hagrid and Harry, hundred.'  
  
'I'll try to hit Harry, but he's too far, alright, I'll throw it.' Dumbledore threw the walking stick across with all his might, and it landed at the person sitting in front of him.  
  
'Ouch!' shouted Neville.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'Arrrrggg...! I missed him, I'll get him this time, oh nevermind, I'll fly up and hit him, yes, that's what I'll do, move away, you're blocking the great Dumbledore. Ouch! Get lost, give way everyone, move it, stop that, I'm gonna fly.' He jumped with his arms spreaded out, and landed on the person in front of him, steping on everyone.  
  
'Ouch! You're hurting me.' cried Neville as loudly as before.  
  
'Stop, Ouch, Quit it!' yelled Seamus.  
  
'Gerroff me, you... help!' shouted Dean.  
  
'Ooops!' said Percy. 'Excuse me, I'm a prefect.'  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'Sorry, I forgot, I can't fly.' said Dumbledore apologetically. Suddenly, Hermione appeared from behind me.  
  
'Ron, did you just see that? Harry just caught the golden snitch! Just when they released it! He broke all records, caught it in about seven seconds! No one scored any points yet!'  
  
'Bloody hell, I missed it, all because of him!' I pointed at Dumbledore who was now trying to sit up.'Nevermind, let's go.' I said. Dumbledore stood up and asked,  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'Ron Weasley, and bloody hell, Dumbledore lost his memory!' I said. Just then a bludger appeared and hit dumbledore on his head. We walked out on the pitch and-  
  
'Bloody hell, those are not just insects, they are spiders, we must follow the spiders, but I'm afraid of spiders!' I said, 'Why the spiders, why can't it be follow the butterflies?'  
  
'All right then, let's follow the butterflies.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' We followed the butterflies and found a giant butterfly. We went over to say, 'Hi' and went back to school. We went down to the chamber to look for Quirrel to help him look for his stone. 


	4. The Diary

Ch 4 The Diary  
  
We were walking to Myrtle's bath room.  
'Where's Hermione?' I asked.  
'Petrified.' said Harry.  
'Wicked!'   
'Alright Harry, what do you see in there? Tell me, I need to find the stone, it's important! Tell me, hurry!' said Quirrell as we walked in.  
'My mother's in there, she's smiling at me, I think she's trying to tell me something, that she loves to smile. She's still smiling at me. And Wow! She's smiling at me again, and look, that's my Father! Dad! Hi! And he's smiling at me!'  
'Wicked!'  
'Oh nevermind, lets all go to sleep.' said Quirrell.  
Suddenly, something really small and ugly appeared behind a snake statue and waved to us.  
'Hello sirs,' it said, 'Harry Potter must not go back to the bathroom of Moaning Myrtle.'  
'Who are you? I asked.  
'Dobby, sir, Dobby the house elf.' It smiled.  
'But why?'  
'Because, sir, because errr..., alright, because I'm bathing!'  
'Bloody hell!'  
'Well then, we'll have to apparate back to our common room.' said Quirrell.  
'Good thinking!' I cried. We apparated back to our common room.  
  
'Oh look there's Hermione, Hermione, over here. What happened to you?' Harry asked.  
'I've been unpetrified,-'  
'Wicked'  
'-and did you both just apparated here? Oh, don't you two ever read Hogwarts, A History? How many times do I have to tell you, we can't apparate or disapparate within school grounds, how did you two managed to apparate anyway? Anyway, Hogmades trip this weekend, who's going?' she continued.  
'I'm not sleepy, anyway. Wait a minute, Ron? wanna see something? Come with me, errr... not you Hermione, but you can come if you want.' said Harry. Harry took out Tom Riddle's Diary from under his pillow.  
'Here, we can use this.' He said.  
'Huh?'  
'We can-'  
'Wicked!' They both got sucked into the diary.  
'Wow! Look at this place, it's-' I exclaimed.  
'Hogwarts, only it's fifty years ago.' said Harry.  
'Wicked'  
'Hey, isn't that Argogo?' asked Harry.  
'Bloody hell, hey can you hear me? Hello, you there-' I yelled.  
'He can't hear you.' said Harry.  
'Cool!' I said. We walked up a few flight of stairs and there we met-  
'Lockhart?' said Harry. Lockhart was humming to himself.  
'Do, do, do...' Then Professer Dumbledore walked in.  
'Lockhart, up!' He said. Lockhart turned and looked stupidly up at him.  
'Let me introduce to you, your new Transfiguration student, me, Guilderoy Lockhart, five times winner of Witch Weekly's most stupid kid award. Of course I don't talk about it, I'm not the stupidest kid in town, actually, I happened to be one of the smartest kid, but...' Lockhart went on.  
'Wicked!'  
'Let's go, I don't want to hear- oh no, what's happening? oh-' said Harry.  
'Lockhart, Lockhart...' I yelled as we got sucked back, and all of a sudden, we were back in our common room again. 


	5. Dumbledore's Story

Ch 5 Dumbledore's Story  
  
The next day, We went to look for Dumbledore just as his memory was restored. we walked to the stone gargoyle.  
'Errr..., chocolate frog, sherbet lemon, cockroach cluster, acid pops... let's think. 'I remembered guessing the..., I got it right once.'  
'Wicked!' The stone gargoyle sprang to life. Just as we walked in, Dumbledore walked out. 'Are you looking for me?' He asked.  
'Yes professer, I mean no actually.' said Harry. 'Why are we here?' I just shrugged.  
'What's that you're holding, professer?' asked Harry.  
'Oh I know that, but professer, where'd you get it?' I asked.  
'I won it, actually got it for being a Gryffindor Quidditch keeper a few years ago but then I stopped, I quit.'  
'Why?'I asked.  
'Because I missed a golden snitch, for the first time in my life, and the last.' He replied.  
'You play Quidditch? You must be the oldest keeper in a century!' I said.  
'Hold on, if you are a keeper, why were you supposed to catch the snitch?' asked Harry.  
'I don't know.' said Dumbledore.  
'How many games did you play?' Harry asked.  
'One, and I lost that one game.' Dumbledore continued.  
'Harry is seeker, Fred and George are beaters, they can beat you up if you lose.' I said.  
'Oh yeah, and then I got beaten up by the beaters and kicked out for not catching the golden snitch.'  
'Wicked!'  
'Who were they anyway, the beaters?' ask Harry.  
'Me.' Dumbledore replied.  
'You can't be a seeker, keeper and beaters at once, how many players are there?' I asked.  
'One, and that's me.You two better go now, Professer Flitwit will be wondering where are you.' He said. For eight seconds, I thought I saw his eyes twinkling.  
  
'Today, I going teach you how to Levitate, remember the brief movement, swish and flick and you have to say Wingardium Leviosa.' Professer Flitwit said. 'Miss Granger, wait, you must be my sister, my mother once said I had a really smart sister.'   
'What an idiot, you are my teacher, remember?' said Hermione.  
'But, but, but...' He blurted.  
'Speak no more, for I am Hermione Granger.' said Hermione.  
'Oh yes, I will.' said Flitwit.  
'Now professer, what good will this do?' asked Hermione.  
'Better now than later, watch this.' Flitwit took out his wand and pointed at Hermione.  
'Wingardium Leviosa!' There was a flash, and Flitwit was floating in the air.   
'Flitwit's levitating spell backfired, he's floating!' Seamus shouted.  
'Wicked!' I yelled over the screaming crowd.  
'Impaled on your sword.' said Hermione. Just then the bell rang, and everyone left leaving poor professer floating upside down. 


	6. The Firebolt

Ch 6 The Firebolt  
  
It was now time for Defence against dark arts lesson with Quirrell, He had brought the mirror up.   
'Gather round, gather round, can you all see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent. Now I guess you must know what this mirror I have here can do. That's right, now I don't want any of you to worry, you will still have yourself after I'm through with you, I want you to GET THIS STONE OUT OF HERE!' he yelled making the windows shatter, 'Hurry now, fifty points will go to the house of whoever who can get it out, but don't break it.' There was a rush of excitement when everyone rushed to get a closer look at the mirror.   
After an hour or so, still, no one was able to take the stone out of the mirror and Quirrell got really fustrated with everyone that he chased us out.   
  
We went down to the Great Hall for breakfast the next day.   
'Look at Malfoy, what's he trying to do, to get more attention, or detention?' Fred asked as we watched Malfoy holding his wand trying to curse another Slytherin boy. We snorted into our puddings. Just then, there was a flapping noise from above.  
'Owl post!' shouted Seamus. I saw a big package with several owls carrying it, they dropped it in front Harry.  
'What do you think that is?' I asked. Harry shrugged.   
'Looks like a broomstick, a firebolt maybe.' Harry opened it, and it was a-  
'Firebolt!' Yelled Seamus.  
'What? But already have one, but...Wicked!' I yelled and gave Harry a pat on his back. I turned over to look at Malfoy, he was starring at Harry with his face full of jealousy.   
Malfoy walked over to Hermione, who was now reading a muggle magazine, and yelled at her,'Mudblood!' Then he turned and left.  
'I'm going to the girl's bathroom to cry.' she said then she too left.   
Percy stood up to calm the crowd down, 'look here, I'm a prefect and I'm going to be headboy, so you better listen to me, everyone, hey, get back here, where are you all going? Hey!'  
We left him there, followed Harry to admire his second broom. We placed his broom in the common room and went back down.   
'Who could have sent you, not sirius, he's not the rich to buy you so many, could it be-' I asked.  
'Look, the mirror!' said Harry.  
'What's wrong with it?' I asked.  
'No, I see myself as Quidditch captain, holding two broomsticks, I look good!' said Harry.  
'Wicked! Hey wait, I see myself holding a stone, and wicked, it's putting it into my pocket!' I said excitedly.  
'What?'  
'Ouch! you stupid reflection, how dare you, try to kill me by putting it in my pocket, arrrggg...! Wait till I throw this stone at you and, bloody hell, it's gone.'  
'Well it's back in the mirror, because you wanted to use it, that's why it's gone back, you wanted to use it to break the mirror.' came a voice from the back.  
We spun around, it was Dumbledore. 'Now, would you kindly go back to your common room, I don't want you both to go looking for it again, understand? Now go.' 


	7. The Troll

CH 7 The Troll  
  
We were walking back into our common room when suddenly, we heard a voice screaming.  
'Troll! Troll in the toilet, troll in the toilet!'  
'Let's get back into the common room, trolls are really stupid, probably people playing jokes.' I said, 'What?  
'Hermione, she doesn't know!' said Harry. We ran to the toilet to save Hermione.  
'But Harry, this is the girl's bathroom, oh well, let's just go.'  
'But we went in many times, to the other bathroom, it makes no differences.' said Harry.  
'Wicked! Hermione, Hermione, where are you? Are you there? Hermione, we've come to save you!' I yelled. We opened the door and saw'  
'Moaning Myrtle! But where's Hermione?' asked Harry.  
'I don't know, but I think this is the wrong toilet, I was sitting here thinking about death, and a book came flying through the top of my head.' she replied.  
'Oh, thanks, yep, we'll be going.' said Harry.  
'Go? I think not, you haven't throw books at me yet.' she continued.  
'Oh I'll not be throwing.' said Harry flatly.  
'Oh, alright then, just go, don't bother to come throw books at me anymore, just let the poor Moaning Myrtle throw books at herself. Do, do, do...' she said. When we left the toilet, we met Hermione outside.  
'Oh where were you? I waited for you to come and save but you didn't, I had to fight the troll myself and dirtied my robes. Look at the mess it made to me. Arrrgggg...!' she shouted when she saw them.   
'Oh, we went to the wrong bathroom.' said Harry.  
'Really?' I asked.  
'You were there, you saw that!' said Harry.  
'Wicked, I didn't know.' I said.  
'What are you two talking about?' asked Hermione, 'I've dirtied my robes, now I have to clean 'em, Wattlebird!' The Fat Lady swung open and we climbed in. We admired Harry's second broomstick far a while.  
'Here, it's yours, you deserved it for being my best friend.' said Harry.  
'No, I can't take it, it's yours.' my ears turned pink.  
'No, you have it, take it, as you christmas present, besides I already have one.'  
'Thanks!' I said admiring it, 'Wicked!'  
'Let's go and find Hagrid, I haven't seen him for a while already.' suggested Harry. We ran down to Hagrid's hut and knocked very loudly on the door, but no one answered, we only heard Fang's loud barkings  
'Do you think he's in there?' I asked.  
'No either.' Harry answered.  
'Wicked!' I said.  
'Hey Harry! Di-didn't you hear? Hagrid's been taken to Azkaban!' Hermione shouted breathlessly from the school gate. They think he's the one who kept a dragon under his bed.'  
'Bloody hell! He is the one who kept a dragon under his bed!' I said.  
'How'd you know.' asked Hermione.  
'My father works in the ministry of magic, some muggled reported seeing a really big man walking around with a dragon, it's been taken to Rome. My brother's studying dragons there.'  
'So! That brainless oaf's in azkaban? For having a dragon under his bed?' came a drawling voice from behind them. It was Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. They are both a head taller than Malfoy, Crabbe was the tallest.   
'Shut up Malfoy!' Hermione snapped.  
'Well, look, a mudblood's talking, and don't come near me.' said Malfoy.  
'You'll pay for that one Malfoy.' I raised my wand.  
'What's happening, oh Mr Weasley. No magic allowed in corridors.' came Professer Mcgonall's voice.   
'But this is not-' I said. She gave gave me a look that made me said no more. 


	8. Hagrid's News

Ch 8 Hagrid's News  
  
We went back to the Gryffindor common room after that.  
  
'That Malfoy, I'll get him one day, I'll make him pay.' I said.  
  
'Ron, calm down!' said Hermione.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
'Let's go look for Dumbledore and ask him about Hagrid.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' We climbed out of the common room and went down to the stone gargoyle.  
  
'Do you know what the password is?' asked Hermione.  
  
'Easy.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked' I said. The stone gargoyle sprang to life. We walked into the room, it was round with many moving pictures of the previous headmasters of Hogwarts. Most of them were sleeping.  
  
'Have you received the Firebolt I gave you, Harry?' Dumbledore walked out from behind his table.  
  
'Oh, so you were the one who gave me that Firebolt. Thanks.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'Yes, Harry, It was I who gave it to you.' said Dumbledore, 'Because I need you to do something for me, I want you to help me kill Voldemort.' I flinch at the sound of that name.  
  
'Bloody hell, so this is a bribe!' I said.  
  
'You gave Harry the Firebolt so that he can help you fight you-know who?' asked Hermione.  
  
'Voldermort' corrected Dumbledore.  
  
'Isn't he you-know-who?' said Hermione.  
  
'No, it is voldermort!' said Dumbledore once again, 'Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.'  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'But I fear the thing!' argued Hermione.  
  
'Coward, look at me, and Harry, we're your role model. We are so brave, the sorting hat shouldn't have placed you in Gryffindor, it should have placed you in Ravenclaw since you are so smart.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Say that again, and I won't be your friend.' said Hermione.  
  
'Wimp, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. The wimpy wimpy spider climb up the wim-' went Dumbledore.  
  
'Ahhhh...!' Hermione ran out.  
  
'Voldermort! Voldemort!' sang Dumbledore as his ran after Hermione.  
  
'Wicked!' I said. Suddenly that ugly thing appeared again.  
  
'Harry Potter must not go back to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, Dobby is bathing there!' it said.  
  
'Why would I want to go to that bathroom for no reason?' asked Harry.   
  
'Because, I don't know, the famous Harry Potter must have his reasons.' said Dobby slowly. Just then, the door opened and Dumbledore returned laughing.  
  
'I chased her all the way into the toilet! You should've seen the look on her face! Well, what'd you come here for? You wanted to ask me something?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'Errr..., I want to know how's Hagrid, how's his case.' Harry said.  
  
'What case?' Dumbledore asked.  
  
'The Azkaban thing, about Hagrid, keeping a dragon under his bed, and going to Azkaban, the one on the Daily Prophet this morning?'  
  
'Oh that one, yes, errrm..., is Hagrid in Azkaban? What happened?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'Errr... we'll just go. Bye!' Harry said. We ran out of Dumbledore's room.  
  
'Wait, what happened to Hagrid? Where's he, why is he in Azkaban? Come back here, what did...' Dumbledore called after us as we ran back to our common room. 


	9. The Attacks

Ch 9 The Attacks  
  
I followed Harry down to the dungeons for Potions the next day. When we reached the dungeons, Snape was already there. Careful not to give snape any chance to take away another five or ten points away from Gryffindor, we quickly slid into their seats.  
  
'Now, today, you are going to brew for me a potion that can cure phobia of going to the toilet, hurry up, everyone, take a piece of slug tail and some dragon scales.' said Snape. Everyone moved forward carefully and took them. After half an hour, everyone seemed have finished brewing with a dark purple coloured potion, all except-  
  
'Longbottom! Ten points of Gryffindor for not brewing it right.' Snape said peering into Neville's green coloured potion.  
  
Just then, the bell rang and Hermione headed stright to the library.  
  
'He's picking on Neville, just because his not from Slytherin.' said Seamus.  
  
'And not to mention taking points away from Gryffindor.' said Dean.  
  
'Yeah, he's such a biased...'  
  
We left them at the stairs and headed back to the common room while the rest went to the great hall. The corridor was empty except for Peeves who flew away looking very frightened when we arrived.  
  
'I 'spect it's Bloody Baaron.' said Harry.  
  
'Bloody Hell!' I said. Suddenly, a sizzling sound sounded from across the room.  
  
'Do you hear that?' I asked Harry.  
  
'What, hear what?' Harry asked.  
  
'That sound, sounds like something's frying.' I said.  
  
'Oh, I think it's that way.' said Harry.  
  
I quickly followed Harry as he led the way. We soon found ourselves in a large empty room, where the source of noise came from, it was filled with many giant pictures of some famous people, some even muggles would regconise, mainly people associated with food. Some of them were cooking, doing up some dishes.   
  
We stared amazingly at the pictures when suddenly, a heard a loud bang from behind me, I turned around only to find Harry lying at my feet. Then I saw it, it was small and brown, and it flew directly at my face.  
  
WHAM! I felt my face turing red and then before I knew it, I fell down to the floor. The last thing I remembered was the sizzling sound that filled the whole room after that.  
  
My face was still stinging when I woke up, I was lying on a bed. I closed my eyes and laid there, then I heard people talking.  
  
'I told you, we should have warned them to avoid that place, it's too dangerous! We'll only have more accidents after this.' Snape was saying furiously, spitting at every word.  
  
'If we tell them, more people will only go, they would want to see it for themselves. This would not-' Mcgonagall was saying.  
  
'They will have to be responsible for-' Snape continued but was interruped by Mdm Pomfrey.  
  
'Can you please keep your voices down, they need rest,' she shooed them out of the room and left.  
  
I opened my eyes and realised that I was in the hospital wing. I turned to the left and found Harry starring at the celing. He too had overheard their conversasion. We left the hospital in the late morning, and walked down the stairs to the great hall.   
  
'Why are they keeping this from us, either it is very dangerous, or it is a secret, or... I don't know.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
'What do you think was that, I mean the thing that attacked us?' asked Harry.  
  
'Dunno' I said.  
  
'You mean you were attacked? I thought you were gone because you were doing detention or something!' said Hermione very loudly that almost the whole hall could hear.  
  
'You were attacked? By what, I hope it dosen't comes here.' said Neville, his whole face turing white.  
  
'You were attacked, Potter? By a ghost, and did you faint just because you saw it. And did Weasley just faint because he saw his mother?' sneered Malfoy who was walking towards us.  
  
'Shut up Malfoy.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' I said as Malfoy walked away. Everyone later left for classes, some looking scared, other looked normal, except for Seamus who looked really happy and talking to Dean really excitedly.  
  
We had Defence Against Dark Arts after that, and Quirrell gave up trying to ask us help him get the stone, instead, everyone were talking in groups, talking about the attack while Quirrel stood in front of the mirror trying to pull the stone out. At the end of the lesson, everyone left with Quirrell still talking to himself. We went to the Green House for Herbology after that and professer Sprout taught us about dangerous plants, one of them in which was that Womping Willow. When we finished with Herbology, we went back to our common room.  
  
I sat in the common room playing with Harry my favourite game: Wizard's Chess, while Hermione sat at a corner buried under books. Suddenly Neville came running in and shouting.  
  
'Another attack! Somebody has been attacked!'  
  
'Wicked!' I exclaimed. Then Mcgonagall came in.  
  
'May I have your attention please. I have some serious announcment to make, all students are not allowed to go to the restricted area on the third floor, it is forbidden, and absolute dangerous, as you all know, that several students have been attacked and you are asked not to go looking for anything there unless you want to die a painful death.' she said before leaving.  
  
'Wicked!'   
  
'I think I know what to do, Ron, and... are you think what I'm thinking?' Harry asked.  
  
'Errr... maybe...No.' I said.  
  
'I think it's time for us to go and save the day, like we always do. And it's time to take my father's invisibility cloak out again.' Harry replied.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
It was Saturday, Hogsmade trip was here, as many students were so willing to leave the castle for a full day of excitement at Hogsmade, we decided to stay. 


	10. Christmas At Hogwarts

Ch 10 Christmas  
  
It was Saturday, Hogsmade trip was here, as many students were so willing to leave the castle for a full day of excitement at Hogsmade, we decided to stay. After everyone had left, we stayed back in our common room.   
'Hermione, are you coming?' Harry asked.  
'No, I have something to do, I need to practice saying you-know-who's name, I don't want to be teased anymore.' Hermione replied.  
'Voldemort's name?' said a voice so suddenly that Harry jumped, Hermione screamed and I flinch.  
'Wicked!' I said.   
'When did you arrive? We didn't see you coming or anything.' said Harry.  
'Just. You see, I was about to go to Hogsmade when I decided to pay you three a little visit, not to worry, I just wanted to see if you were up to anything. Well then, I'll be off.' said Dumbledore.  
'You still haven't answered my question yet.' said Harry.  
'Oh, I apparated here. See you then.' said Dumbledore before disapparating.  
'Oh, am I the only person in this school who reads Hogwarts, A History, other than Professer Binns? You can't apparate or disapparate within school grounds, it's been enchanted with spells that...' said Hermione as we left under the invisibility cloak.   
We walked out and headed towards the stairs to the third story. Harry tried to open the door but to no avail.  
'Where's Hermione when you need her?' I asked.  
'Alohormora!' said Harry as the lock released and the door swung open to receive us.   
'Wicked!' I carefully followed Harry across the corridor as quietly as possible as we retraced the steps we had taken the day we were attacked. I kept tripping on the invisibility cloak which was entirely a waste of effort as we didn't even need in the first place, not when nobody would ever catch us here. We moved silently across the room. Then we heard it again, that same sizzling sound that came from the pictures in the room.  
We followed the sound and soon, we were back in the room where we were attacked.   
Suddenly, I heard that same evil sizzle we heard the last time, then I saw it again, flying towards me. I ducked and it missed me narrowly by my ear. I turned around and reached down in my robes for my wand, I heard Harry wipped out his and he shouted, 'Expelliarmus!' The thing flew backwards hit the wall. We quickly walked towards it and I saw it clearly for the first time. It was small, brown and had beef and cheese.   
'Oh, I know what that is.' I said.  
'A bludger, no, a burger?' suggested Harry.  
'It's not just a burger, it's the Flying Hambludger! I heard Fred and George talking about it once. It's very extremely absolutely evil, it attacks it's opponent by flying and hitting them on their faces, not to mention it is dangerous, very dangerous. It's final attack would be squirting tomato sauce and throwing cheese at them then flying away.  
'Yes that's me, and I'm going to knock the stuffings out of you! No, I'll show you my final attack, watch.' it said.  
'Expell-' shouted Harry again as it started spraying tomato sauce all over the place. I opened my mouth to scream but only tasted sweet tomato sauce. Then I heard it sizzle evily and then the place went silent again.  
'Is it gone?' I asked wiping tomato sauce out of my eyes. I turned to Harry and found him sitting on the floor, holding something brown in his hands.  
'Harry?' I walked a little closer.  
'Hmmm, it's delicious!' said Harry.  
'Wicked! Can I have some?' I said.  
  
It was nearly Christmas, and Professer Mcgonagall had begun walking around taking down names of those who wanted to stay over for Christmas, we were one of the first who wrote down our names. Neville wanted to stay but his very old grandmother wouldn't let him. The bad thing was, Malfoy was staying too, and if he was staying, Crabbe and Goyle was obviously staying. The good thing was, we've just received news that the new keeper who took over Wood had retired, and I got to be the new keeper.   
On Christmas eve, when the whole school was almost empty, and we had nothing to do, so we roamed the school on our own. We met Mcgonagall in one of the corridors outside the transfiguration.   
'Professer, I would like to know how's Hagrid's case going?' Hermione asked.  
'He's been released, yesterday.' she replied.  
'Really? But I didn't know, I should have read the Daily Prophet.' Hermione said.  
'But where's he?' Harry asked.  
'I don't know, I think you should go and ask Professer Dumbledore, he's probably here by now.' Mcgonagall replied.  
In the late afternoon, we had a game of snow fight with Fred and George while Ginny preferred to sit with Hermione and watch us play instead.   
Suddenly, the small ugly thing appeared. It was wearing some ugly pillow case and was shivering madly. It walked up to Harry and said, 'Harry Potter must to go back to the girl's toilet of Moaning Myrtle. There's a plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.' it said.  
'Bloody Hell Harry, it knows your name!' I said.  
'What terrible things, who's plotting them?' asked Harry.  
'Dobby...must...say...Arrrggg...!' it said.  
'Then say it.' shouted George.  
'Alright, Moaning Myrtle's there, and she's plotting to throw books at you if you go, and...errr...I....errr...' it said.  
'What?' asked Harry.  
'I'm bathing there.' it said quickly.  
'Is there a problem?' asked Fred.  
'Wicked!' I said.  
We stopped in the evening when the snow was getting heavy, and walked back to the Great Hall which now smelt strongly of food. We turned towards the Slytherin's table and saw Malfoy standing there sneering at us.   
'Yes, Potter, feeling really unwanted? Nevermind, you've got your Weasley and Mudblood to be your friend.' Crabbe and Goyle sniggered loudly and they turned back.  
'Well, at least we don't have any who goes around desprately trying to get attention here' said Fred. We snorted.  
Just then Dumbledore apprated and sat down. Hermione sighed.  
'Gather round, gather round, can you all see me, can you all hear me? Excellent. Now, Professer Lockhart has granted me permission to sit with you, so don't mind.' He got up and walked towards the Gryffindor table and sat down, then waved for the other students and teachers to come.  
'Er, Professer, where's Hagrid?' Harry asked. Dumbledore stared at Harry.  
'I meant he's just been released, hasn't he?' Harry asked again.  
'Oh really? Hagrid's been released? When? Why didn't any of you tell me, ho, ho, you should have said eariler, let's tuck in. said Dumbledore. We looked at each other.   
We started pulling crackers and Dumbledore kept laughing really loudly which sounded like he was roaring.  
When Snape put on his hat with a vulture on top, Dumbledore started laughing.  
'Haw, Haw, Haw, you look like, Haw... me...Haw, Haw... but you are too ugly, Haw, Haw, Poppy, you look like a BEE! Haw, Haw, Haw...! You are fat! Minerva, you are too old for that, take that down, I think I'll suit it more! Haw, Haw... look at, Haw... me, I look good! Haw, Haw, Haw, Haw...!' went Dumbledore.  
After Christmas Dinner, we went to look for Moaning Myrtle to throw books at her as her Christmas present.   
We walked up to the girl's bathroom. Moaning Myrtle was sitting alone and she smiled when we walked in.  
'We brought your Christmas presents, Myrtle, books!' I yelled. Then Dumbledore suddenly apparated here. Hermione sighed again.  
'I've come to join the fun.' he said. We started throwing books at her.   
While everyone was busy throwing books at Myrtle, she happily dancing and Dumbledore laughing and roaring, I and Harry walked to the back. We walked to the mirror.  
'I see myself holding the Quidditch Cup, and bloody hell, I'm throwing books at Myrtle! I look good! I look older, and I'm Percy?' I exclaimed breathlessly.  
'I see myself holding the stone, and I'm putting it into my pocket! It's now in my pocket! I'm going to throw it at Myrtle! It's gone!' Harry said loudly.  
'Oh, let me tell you why Harry. Only those who want it, and not use can take it. Those who want it, to use it, cannot get it. And you were going to use it, Harry. You wanted to use it to throw at Myrtle.' said Dumbledore.'By the way, I won.'  
'But I thought I got the most points, you didn't throw any through her! You can't win.' said Mcgonagall.  
'Twenty thousand points goes to the smartest man with Witch weekly's most charming smile award!' said Dumbledore. With that, he apparated.  
Hermione sighed again.  
'Wicked!' I said.  
'Cool!' said Fred.  
'Amazing!' said Ginny.  
'Wow!' said Harry.  
'Way to go.' said George.  
'Do, do, do...' sang Myrtle.  
Hermione sighed again. 


	11. Quidditch Practice

Ch 11 Quidditch Practice  
  
We sat in the common room doing Quirrel's essay. The topic was: How to get the stone out of the mirror. And we had to write two parchment long.   
  
Suddenly, we heard a snap, and then something came running towards us. It was that ugly thing again.  
  
'Who are you?' asked Harry.  
  
'Haven't I already told you sir, Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf.' It said very proudly, puffing it's chest out like Percy.  
  
'Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time to have an ugly elf in our common room.' said Harry.  
  
'Not ugly, sir, never ugly. Dobby has heard of your greatness sir, but never has he been called ugly, like something ugly.' said Dobby.  
  
'You can't have met many better looking Dobbies then.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked, Harry, tis' ugly!' I said. Dobby suddenly jumped up, threw himself against Harry, and started knocking Harry on his head with a book.  
  
'Bad Harry, Bad Harry...' it went. Harry struggled and finally kicked Dobby off. Dobby ran to the table and grabbed Harry's Parchments.  
  
'Give me those, NOW!' yelled Harry. But it just apparated. Hermiond sighed.  
  
'Now I have to rewrite my essay.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'But you haven't wrote anything yet.' said Seamus.  
  
A week later, we were walking into the great hall.  
  
'How was your essay?' asked Dean.  
  
'Great!' said Hermione. 'I wrote it five parchment long.'  
  
'What? I haven't even had it a parchment long.' said Seamus.  
  
'Wicked! I've got half a parchment.' I said.  
  
'Mine's a paragraph short.' said Harry holding up his essay, both sides were filled.  
  
'That's a very long paragraph.' said Seamus.  
  
'We've got Quidditch practice later, Harry, you're captain' said George as he, Fred and Lee Jordan walked in. Then Dumbledore suddenly apparated in. Hermione sighed again.  
  
'Why won't anybody listen to me?' she asked crossly. Mcgonagall apparated in too. She picked up her fork from the table and started knocking the goblet on the table with it. The whole hall went silent.  
  
'May I have your attention please?' she said. Beside her, Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly.  
  
'In lights of the dark event,' He said.  
  
'Dark event?' asked Harry.  
  
'Which one?' asked Neville.  
  
'There's no Dark event.' said Fred.  
  
'What is he talking about?' asked Harry.  
  
'Bloody hell! What is wrong with him?' I said. Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkled for nine and three quarters second.  
  
'This is big news, and is important, and it happened yesterday, right here, at Hogwarts. Something very serious happened. But don't worry, the culprit has been caught, thanks to your very great, brave and noble headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, which coincidently happened to be ME!' Dombledore bellowed. I raised my eyebrows. 'The culprit has been caught and sent off to Azkaban by me. He is a student of this school, his name is Olbus Dumberdoll. I caught him, last night, I knew it was him all along, sneaky little brat. But last night, I caught him in the act last night. Now I have enough evidence to sue him, of three million eight hundred and thirty three thousand, one hundred and seventy five Galleons, eighty six thousand, three hundred and twenty five sickles and forty one knuts. And, can you guess what he was doing? HE WAS SNEAKING FOOD UP FROM THE KITCHENS TO HIS COMMON ROOM! MIND YOU!' He roared. 'AND I'M GOING TO GIVE CLOTHES TO THE SILLY HOUSE ELF WHO GAVE HIM THE FOOD!' Dumbledore clamed down a little. 'That greedy fat boy. And I better not catch anyone else sneaking off to the kitchen for food again. Or...' He raised his fist started waving it violently around him, but stopped when he hitted his goblet causing it to fall and spill.  
  
'Wicked!' I said. Dumbledore disapperated.  
  
'Come on, off to the pitch for quidditch.' yelled Fred. We went back up to our common room for our broomsticks and down again.  
  
'Alright, Harry, you're captain.' said Fred, admiring our broonsticks.  
  
'What? I am captain? I didn't know!' shouted Harry.  
  
'I told you before, don't you remember?' said George.  
  
'But...but...' spluttered Harry.  
  
'All right, I'll be, anyway, I've devised a whole new plan the whole summer, this time we're going to win.' came a voice from behind us. We turned around, and-  
  
'Bloody hell!' I said.  
  
'Professor Dumbledore, Professor Mcgonagall, Hagrid!' yelled Harry.  
  
'How's it goin', Harry? All righ'?' asked Hagrid.  
  
'Hagrid! You're back! Oh I missed you!' said Harry running up to hug him.  
  
'Oh, I've only bin gone fer three weeks an' yer missin' me.' said Hagrid smiling happily.  
  
'How's it in there?' I asked.  
  
'Oh, great!' said Hagrid.  
  
'Huh? I mean that place you went? You know where?' I said.  
  
'I've had a great time.' Hagrind laughed.  
  
'Weren't you in Azkaban?' asked Harry.  
  
'Blind me Harry, when was I in Azkaban? No, o' course not Azkaban, Harry, I went ter Rome fer a holiday, enjoyed it.' said Hagrid, later smiling at their shocked face.  
  
'And to think we thought he was in Azkaban.' I said.  
  
'Don't bother so much about him, what about me? I'm your new chaser, and I'm your captain too!' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But I am chaser too, and I want to be captain.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'You can be... next year.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'That's what you always say.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'Ok, everyone, gather around! This is the plan, Harry, you're seeker right? You must catch the snitch, ok? You have to catch it, we're all depending on you. Ok, who's the keeper?' asked dumbledore.  
  
'Me.' I said.  
  
'You, will defend the hoop, but don't tell anyone our secret, or the will copy us. My plan is great, nobody knows that we have a keeper to defend our hoop, so don't tell anybody!' said Dumbledore. 'And Minerva, Rubeus, both of you are chasers like me. Both of you have to go around flying at our opponents, they must get out of my way when I score, get it? Ok, Fred and George, you're beaters. Your job's simple. All you have to do is to fly around me, and protect me from any incoming bludgers. Anyone who catches the quaffle, passes it to me. Ok, let's practice.' Dumbledore shouted.   
  
He grabbed his slow shooting star, and started bobbing slowly towards the hoop. The game was boring, Dumbledore kept scoring, and refused to pass the quaffle to anyone. There was no snitch or buldgers, only the quaffle.   
  
And I was supposed to defend the opponent's hoop, when there was no opponent. Dumbledore refused to let us go back to the castle. We could only fly around enjoying the cool breeze on this Saturday afternoon.  
  
It was in the evening when Dumbledore finally got tired of scoring goals.   
  
'It was a great game, wow did you see how I score? I was great, wasn't I. You people didn't score a single goal. Now, you can trust me as your captain. We Gryffindors will win the house cup this year!' He roared. 'Haw, haw, haw...'  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
After having our dinner in the Great Hall, we headed back to our common room. 


	12. Gryffindor versus Slytherin

Ch 12 Quidditch  
  
We were walking out of our dormitory a week later, it was early in the morning, carrying our Forebolts. Almost everyone was still alsleep.  
  
'V-, Vol-...' came from the common room.  
  
'Hermione, are you still practising how to say Voldermort's name?' Harry Asked as we walked into the common room. Hermione glared at Harry.  
  
'Bloody Hell!' I said. 'Hermione, you're improving!'  
  
'Thanks...' said Hermione blushing, I swore I could see steam rising from the top of her head.  
  
'We are going for Quidditch practice, wanna come and see?' Harry asked.  
  
'No thanks, I've still got to pract-' Hermione was interrupted by a loud crack. Dumbledore had just apparated into the room.   
  
'How many times do I have to tell you, you can't apparate in this castle, haven't anyone read Hogwarts: A History?' said Hermione crossly.   
  
'Ready for Quidditch?' asked Dumbledore very loudly, so loudly that everyone else woke. We could hear them stirring in their dormitories and complaining. Dumbledore was holding his very old ancient Shooting Star in his hand, wearing Gryffindor Quidditch robes that looked too small for him, it barely reach his ankles, just a bit below his knees. He had tied his very long noodle-like white hair in a tight bun like Professor Mcgonagall.  
  
'Come on, let's fly down. Quidditch match will be starting in about an hour, let's go for breakfast, Professor Mcgonagall is already downstairs having breakfast, Hagrid will be down as soon as he finish trying to put on Wood's old robes. Now, come on, let's fly down, it's really fun.' said Dumbledore as he started bobbing once again out of the common room.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
'How are we going to win with him as our captain on that old broomstick?' asked Harry.  
  
We walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Hagrid had already arrived, talking to professor Mcgonagall. We was wearing what look like old pieces of scarlet rags. Evidently, he had tried to put on Wood's old robes which was way too small for him, but tore it. It looked as if sewn together with pieces of moroon cloths using magic.  
  
'Hi Harry! Good ter see yeh!' shouted Hagrid across the hall smiling happily. Beside them were two old cleanweep seven.  
  
Across the Slytherin table, was Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson, they seemed to be laughing at something. They looked over at us and laughed louder.   
  
'Oh, don't bother them.' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
Dumbledore finally appeared, still bobbing very slowly on his old Shooting star.  
  
'It's actually capable of reaching a speed of six hundred kilometres an hour, but I'm afraid that I might fall off.' explained Dumbledore.  
  
By the time we finish our breakfast, the hall was filled with excited voices, all ready to watch an exciting match of Quidditch.  
  
Professor Mcgonagall started knocking her goblet with a fork at the end.  
  
'May I have you attention plese?' she said.  
  
'Today, it's Quidditch day, Slytherin versus GRYFFINDOR-' Dumbledore went.  
  
'You're playing against Slytherin? But I thought that was supposed to be the first season, you are supposed to-' said Hermione.  
  
'-I want to play against Slytherin, because I lost to them the other time.' continued Dumbledore.   
  
'What's he saying? He never played against Slytherin, he only played one game with Hufflepuff, but lost because had only one player on his team.' said Hermione rather quickly. 'It was in Hogwarts: A History, for the first time and last time, one player on the team, made history, Hufflepuff had scored eight hundred and sixty points before catching the snitch, wanted more points before winning.'   
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
About fifteen minutes later, we walked into the Quidditch stadium holding our broomsticks. We looked around, about three quarters of the students were carrying red and gold flags as usual.  
  
We took our places before starting. I looked over the Slytherin team, they were all carrying Nimbus two thousand ones. Their quidditch captain was Marcus Flint. He barred his ugly big teeth and shook hands with Dumbledore.  
  
'Alright everyone, get ready, now I want a nice clean match from all of you. Ready, mount your brooms, on the count of three, ' screeched professor Hooch. 'One... two... THREE!'  
  
We kicked off the ground and I felt myself soaring wonderfully up, I quickly found the three hoops I was supposed to defend.  
  
'...Flint passed the... professor Mcgona... Dumbledore... and he drops it!' commented Lee Jordan,' Oh... Saved by Professor Hagrid! Good move, passes to Dumb... Arrggg... Slytherin in pos...!'  
  
I watched the quaffle for a while, then spotted Harry and gave him a thumbs up sign.   
  
'Marcus Flint takes aim and... good save by Gryffindor Keeper Weasley!' yelled Lee.   
  
Marcus and thrown the quaffle at me and I saved it when it hit me on my head. The game went on for about twenty minutes and nobody scored yet, due the Dumbledore poor aiming, he kept hitting the other Ravenclaws watching instead.  
  
Slytherin's beaters Crabbe and Goyle had hit two buldgers at Dumbledore, in which both hit and broke his nose into more parts, one at Hagrid which it bounced right back and one at Harry, knocking him clean off his Firebolt.   
  
They had received penalties for that, but Dumbledore missed the goals again and was becoming very fustrated.   
  
Fred and George was swinging their bats wildly, trying to hit the buldgers at the Slytherin chaser Marcus Flint.  
  
The next thing I knew, Harry and Malfoy was racing towards the Slytherin end, everything seemed to be happening very fast and Harry caught the golden snitch. Malfoy was looked very furious indeed.  
  
'Gryffindor WINS!!!' yelled Lee Jordan as the whole stadium cheered.  
  
We walked through the cheering crowd, as I watched Harry clutching a bump on his forehead and Dumbledore, his bleeding nose. 


	13. The Case Of The Missing Assignments

Ch 13 The Case Of The Missing Assignments  
  
We headed back into our common room after that (Hermione said, 'Wildfire Whiz-bangs' as that Fat Lady swung open.) Fred and George had brought up several bottles of Butterbeer for us to celebrate.We celebrated for the whole night. Dumbledore kept apparating in and disapparating to join in the fun, constantly shouting across the room,   
  
'We won! Thanks to your quidditch captain, without me you couldn't have won, could you? NO! Hahaha... never had such a great captain... told you you could win with me... Har, har, har,... Thanks Neville, the Butterbeer's great..., do you really...'  
  
While he sat there laughing away and disapparating and apparating, Hermione kept tutting away, glancing at him through the side of her eyes, muttering things like,'How could he not read Hogwarts: A History...' under her breath every now and then.  
  
We celebrated till past eleven when professor Mcgonagall came hurrying up wearing her tartan robes to get us all back to sleep, Dumbledore disapparated just as she appeared in the room as the rest of us hurried back up to our domitories.   
  
The next morning, we went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was decorated with red and gold streamers, a huge banner hung at the entrance saying, 'Go Gryffindor!' as a lion was beside it, roaring every minute. A enormous of Dumbledore painting hung behind the teachers table smiling and winking at as. As we walked over to the Gryffindor table, we spotted Professor Dumbledore beaming at his own picture, while Hagrid sat at the end looking bored.   
  
When he saw us, he waved at us and said, 'All righ' there, Harry.' then turned back to drink from his goblet. Suddenly, Dumbledore's face turned very serious.  
  
'Could I have your attention.' said Mcgonagall loudly, hitting her goblet with her fork.   
  
'There is a serious problem, yesterday, your Defence against the Darks Arts teacher Professer Quirrell tried to pull the Philosopher's stone from the mirror, but failed. Instead, he tried to jump into the mirror and broke his hit head, and was sent to St. Mungos hospital for treatment.' A burst of whispers broke out immediately. 'Another thing is that we tried to take off that smelly turban off his head and found an ugly face at the back, which happened to be the face of Voldemort.' he emphasied on the Voldemort. I flinched together with many other, some gasped, a few girls screamed, Hermione's face turned really white, Harry looked calm.  
  
'Don't worry, we've got it under control, he's at St. Mungos, the healers are now trying to get that ugly face off, if it don't work, we'll sent him to a muggle hospital for a plastic sugery to get rid of it.' continued Dumbledore.  
  
'Wicked! Dad'll like that, a muggle hospital, I'll be suprised if he doesn't go.' I said.  
  
'I don't think it'll be nice.' said Hermione. 'seeing Vol-Voldemort's face at the back of your head.' Neville flinched again.  
  
'Do you think they can make his face disappear? Voldemort I mean.' said Harry.  
  
'I bet they-' started Dean.  
  
Snap  
  
'Hi Harry, wow, bet I can get a picture of it, you-know-who's face.' said Colin.  
  
'Bet you'll freak out first, mind you, petrified before you can get a picture.' said George smiling.  
  
'Bloody Hell!' I said.  
  
'So, I don't think he's suitable for the job anyway, there will be a new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, you will...' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Guess who will it be?' asked Fred.  
  
'Heard Dumbledore wanted the job, but he didn't know anything about Defending himself. He wanted to recruit Lorkhart, but Lorkhart still hasn't gotten his memory back.' said Seamus.  
  
'Who wants him anyway, as our Defence against the Dark-' Harry was interrupted by Hermione's loud 'Tut'.  
  
'...and your new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge.' said Dumbledore. The whole hall clapped.  
  
Suddenly a woman burst into the hall, 'Did someone mentioned my name?' She was wide and short, wearing a pink flowery dress, and a pink bow on her curly hair. She had a toad-like face with small toad eyes and a wide slack mouth.  
  
'Did anyone called me, huh? I heard my name, out with it, I heard-' she screeched loudly but stopped to look around, she seemed to just realise that the whole school was staring at her. She had a high voice.  
  
'Oh, sorry.' she said smiling sweetly, her voice turning into a high girlish voice. 'Hem hem, I am your new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, I teach you Defence against the Dark Arts, to defend yourself against, erm... against, errr..., against some... errr... Ok, so, now I want you all to greet me, no, no, say," Good Morning Professor Umbridge." come on, louder, I can't hear you...'.  
  
'Bloody Hell.' I said.  
  
'She's so-' Seamus swore but got interruped by Hermione's loud 'Tut'.  
  
'What do you reckon she'll make us do during her lessons?' asked Fred.  
  
'As long as she don't ask us to get the stone out of the mirror, I'm getting tired of trying.' said Harry. 'But she does sounds worse than Quirrell.'  
  
'...very good, now I want you all to take this subject seriously, no, no, no, the ministry won't want that, I mean yes they want you all to do well, that's what I'm here for. Now, I want you all to know that I'm not only your Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, I'm also your, errr... , the high...' she look around for a source of help, 'the high... hem hem... that's the end , you may all go.' she ended her speech with her very high innocent childish voice.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
We had potions with Snape later, we managed to brewed our hair growing potions well, Hermione of course, got her potion the right colour, brown. Mine was orange and Harry's, red. Neville on the other hand got pink. We got five point's taken for that, though Snape didn't take any away from Slytherin, even though Goyle's messed up and had his purple. We headed for the Herbology after that and studied some poisonous plants and their cure, which reminded me of potions.  
  
After herbology, I followed Harry to the owlery to send a letter to Sirius, telling him about Professor Quirrell and Professor Umbridge.  
  
We had History of Magic next. We handed in our assignment he had given us ages ago, mine was about a parchment and a half long, while Hermione had her's more than three parchments long. It was about some goblin riot thing that happened years ago. While our History of Magic teacher Professor Binns blabbed on about the history of the Minstry of Magic, we went on about quidditch. Everyone else had their head down, all except Hermione, who was busy jotting down notes and tutting at us.  
  
When history had ended, we made to head for Divination when suddenly,  
  
'Arrrrrrrrrgggggggg... nooooooo... This CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!' yelled a voice from the History of Magic classroom. Something bad must happened, I thought, as I, Harry and some others who had not left walked over hurrily to see what had happened, only to find Professor Binns floating there, clutching his ghostly head, looking horrified.  
  
'What's the matter professor?' asked Hermione concerned. Professor Binns stared at her pitifully, ghostly tears streamed down his face.  
  
'It's g-gone.' said Professor Binns tearfully.  
  
'What's gone?' croaked Neville, whose face was turning very white, almost as white as Professor's Binns face.  
  
'The as-assignments you h-handed in to me earlier is gone.' 


	14. Professor Umbridge

Ch 14 Dolores Jane Umbridge  
  
  
  
'Who do you reckon has taken the assignments?' asked Hermione concerned, we were sitting in the great hall having the breakfast. 'think it's Peeves? He's always -'  
  
'Doubt so, as long as he don't get them back, we don't have to worry about getting a D or a P. And aren't you tired of discussing this topic?' said Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
'Fine!' snapped Hermione.  
  
Crack.  
  
Dumbledore had apparated into the great hall. When he appeared, he clumsily stepped on his dark blue robes, tripped and felled onto Macgonagall, causing the both of them to roll and tumble down the stairs.  
  
'Ouch! Headmaster... you are... gerroff me.' she laid on the floor, trying to battle a struggling Dumbledore off her, finally, managing to kick him off. She stood up and started to brush the dirt off her Tartan robes as the whole hall moved forward to have a better look.   
  
'What?' she snapped. 'Have you got nothing better to do? Get back to your tables or I'll have to deduct points from your houses. Go on, get back. Stop looking, there's nothing to see... Shoo...'  
  
Suddenly a loud wail sounded from behind Macgonagall.  
  
'Waaaaahhhh...!' went Dumbledore.  
  
'Professor?' asked Macgonagall softly. A buzz of whispers broke out again as it had happened several times before when something unusual happened.  
  
'What's happened?'  
  
'Is that Professor Dumbledore sitting...'  
  
'Why is Dumbledore crying?'   
  
I heard a Malfoy saying at the other side, 'Father always says that Dumbledore was the WORST thing EVER happened.'  
  
'You are WRONG!' said Goyle loudly and dumbly.  
  
'What, you think there's someone here who's worse than Dumbledore? Well, Do ya?' Malfoy asked eyeing Goyle suspisiously. Goyle just continued staring stupidly ay Malfoy.  
  
Then Dumbledore suddenly stopped crying. He pulled out a watch, quite different from the one he usually wears (twelve hands), he pulled out a very normal watch, and looked at it smiled very happily and said,  
  
'Ha, broke my record again, this time I only cried for fifteen seconds. The last time I had a boo boo, I cried for twenty two seconds. Record that down, Minerva.'   
  
The teacher went back to their seats, Professor Sprout was starring curiously at Dumbledore, Hagrid was sitting with his mouth wide open, Macgonagall was busy tutting away, Umbridge sat at a corner talking to herself and Snape looked as if nothing had happened. Malfoy and his gang was laughing away at the Slytherin table.  
  
'How long do you reckon he's cried? I mean the longest. An hour?' said Fred smiling.  
  
'Or two?' George added in.  
  
'Bet it's five!' Ginny piped in.  
  
'A whole day,' suggested Seamus.  
  
'Probably till his eyes were too dry, then he stopped when it could no longer tear.' said Dean.  
  
'Then his wife found out, thought that he-' continued Seamus but was again interruped by Hermione's loud 'tut'. Just then Dumbledore disapparated, followed by another loud 'tut' from Hermione.   
  
Umbridge stood up next and started to screech, causing everyone to cover their ears 'Today, I would like to...'  
  
By the time she finish lecturing the school about some stuff related to her own social life, half the school had apparated including the teachers. And by the time Hermione finished tutting, everyone had gone for their lessons.  
  
History of Magic with Professor Binns (the only ghost teacher)that afternoon was as boring as any other lessons they had with him, but a different kind of boring. Usually, during his lessons, he would go on and on about history, till the whole class(except Hermione of course) had their heads down. But today, he sat there looking gloomy, staring at the back of the class and told us to read out books. Occasionally saying things like, 'How could this happen...' and, 'Never in my life...'  
  
'It's only a stack of parchment, what-' Seamus tried to confort him.  
  
'What? Only a stack of parchment, it's... it's... That's an insult! I'm not so irresponsible as you...you think, you know what they (he meant the other ghosts) say behind my back? They... they...' before he could finish, he flew out of the room whining loudly.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
'You know something? I reckon he needs some-' Seamus said angrily, but was yet again interrupted by Hermione's loud 'tut'.  
  
'What? I only wanted to say, he-' Seamus said. At that precise moment, the bell rang, drowning his voice.  
  
We headed to the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom next. When we walked in, Umbridge was already sitting there, smiling, her toad like mouth looked twice as large as it usually seemed. The room looked very different. It was decorated with pink streamers, it looked like she had had a party before this. Pictures of Mad-eye Moody-like cats hung across the room. All the walls were filled from celing to floor. She was wearing a tight pinkish dress with laces all over it you don't know where it started and ended. She was wearing a pair if heeled shoes that looked as if it had been forced on her short stubby legs. And that bright pink ribbon on her hair now had flowers all over it.  
  
'Good morning class.' she said (though it was past noon) in that same high voice she had used many times before. 'No, no, no, louder, I can't hear you. Good! Let me introduce you to your new defence against the dark arts teacher, ME! Dolores Jane Umbridge. Order of... errrm... the ...errmmm.... the high insquiting... I mean the highest...inquitisitor, no... the inquitetheatitor... and errr... All right everybody, wands away please.' she said in her sweetest voice. Everyone groaned.  
  
'Might as well, better than trying to get the stone out of the mirror.' I said but I was wrong.  
  
'Books away everyone.' she screeched. Everyone looked at each other. I raised my eyebrows.  
  
'I want to train you all up, in case you need to defend yourself against the errr... errrm... Today, we are going to exercise a bit, remember...' she went on ranting.  
  
'Exercise what? Is she giving us a quiz on herself? What Is Dolores Umbridge favorite colour-' Harry asked.  
  
'...so you need to train to protect yourself against, errr... errr... I know, filthy half breeds! So today we are going to do jumping jacks! Everyone spread yourselves out, hurry, ok, one, two, three!' She started jumping up and down while everybody stared at her with opened mouths. After a what she called hard exercise, or rather jumping seven times, she stopped, started panting like mad.  
  
'Ok, your turn... hurry... do me... fifty times... don't just stand there... start now.' she screeched breathelessly. Everyone started hopping slowly and waving their arms, some pretenting to hop. Harry and I just stood there, watching the others hopping around or to be more accurate, dancing. After fifteen minutes of mad dancing, she finally told us to stop.   
  
'All right! I see that you have- Ahhhhhhh...!' Umbridge screamed holding out her hand and waving it crazily. 'My fingernails! I've broke them! Oh no, the horror! My fingernails have been petrified, I mean broken, all I see is some punishment! Mr Potter! Dentention!'   
  
'Why me? I didn't do-' asked Harry angrily.  
  
'Oh, we will be able to grow them back Dolores. All we need is some Nail-gro. You will just have to go and see Poppy. And you will probably have to stay there for the night.' said Dumbledore who had just apparated into the classroom.  
  
'What? Me? Stay in the hospital wing tonight? Alone? What if a dirty rotten snake suddenly appears and petrify me? What if a house elf appears and ask me to go home? What if-' she said shrilly.  
  
'But you are our Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, remember?' said Seamus loudly.  
  
'Detention! Mr whatever-your-name-is' Umbridge barked.  
  
'But you really are our-' said Dean.  
  
'You too! Mr I-don't-know-who-you-are.' snapped Umbridge.  
  
'Now, Dolores-' started Dumbledore.  
  
'Wait till the ministry hears about this... me at the hospital wing... ridiculous... I'll write a report, ban everyone from going to the hospital wing... another degree...' Umbridge walked slowly out of the classroom talking to herself.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
We walked into the Great Hall the next day for dinner. I sat beside Harry who was holding his bloody hand and the back of it read, 'I must not petrify Dolores' fingernails ever again.'  
  
Hermione sat in front of us, drawing up timetable for the whole school.   
  
'Hermione? Why are you-' started Harry.  
  
'Oh, don't worry.' answered Hermione.  
  
'Huh?' asked Harry. Hermione smiled at Harry and then turned back to her timetable.  
  
'Look at this!' said a loud voice. Seamus and Dean walked in. 'Look what she made us do.' said Seamus holding up his hand. 'I must not be rude to Dolores Umbridge ever again.'   
  
'Bloody hell!' I said.  
  
'It's bloody hand you mean.' corrected George.  
  
Suddenly an owl flew across the Great hall, over Umbridge's head, causing her to scream, then landed on Hermione's Head.  
  
'Owl post!' shouted Seamus.  
  
'Owl post? At this time? I thought it usually comes in the morning.' said Ginny.  
  
'Yeah.' agreed Neville who was sitting next to her. Hermione just smiled, opened the envelope, pulled out a long parchment and started reading quickly, her eyes darted across the parchment and within a minute, she placed it back into the envelope and ran off to the library leaving all her timetables behind.  
  
'Hermione?' Ginny called after her.  
  
'What do you reckon is wrong with her?' said Fred shaking his head.  
  
'What d'you think is that about?' asked Harry. I heard Malfoy saying loudly at the Slytherin's table, 'Once a mudblood, always a mudblood.' 


	15. The Letter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, the belong to J.K. Rowling. So sad. Nevermind. Anyway, thank you all those who reviewed. Please continue. Thanks. Anyway, sorry for the boring story, I'm running out of ideas. :)  
  
Ch 14 The boring Chapter  
  
We met Hermione during charms, where we were doing some growing charm on buttons. She had managed to grow her marble to the size of a small plate. Mine however, looked smaller than before, Harry had managed only managed to change it's colour, though it too looked smaller.   
  
'Hermione, what was those letters about?' asked Harry.  
  
'Oh, you wait and see.' she replied smiling to herself.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
'Oh, Ron, you're doing it all wrong, you will never be able to- oh!' she said as I accidently cast a spell on her hand, causing her fingers to shrivel up.  
  
'Oops. Sorry.' I apologised.  
  
'Don't worry, it's nothing at all.' she said raising her hand. 'Professor! I need to go to the hospital wing.'  
  
'Oh, Miss Granger. Yes and, oh, wonderful work there.' said professor Flitwick.   
  
'Thanks.' Hermione said blushing.  
  
'Er. Miss Granger, can I ask you something, it's about errr... are you sure you are not my sister? Cause my mother really did said I had a sister, a really smart one. And I really think it's you.'  
  
'Oh great.' said Hermione with a sigh. 'Nope, I'm NOT your sister, besides, I'm a Granger. And my mother is still with me. She's a muggle. And she's younger than you.' she said all this in one breath.  
  
'Ok then. Errr... are you very sure? Very very sure?' said professor Flitwick.  
  
'Affrimative.' said Hermione. 'Can I go now?'  
  
'Well then. Very well... you may go.' said professor Flitwick looking disappointed. Hermione left.  
  
'What do you reckon is th-' Harry started but was interrupted by a loud BOOM across the room. Professor Flitwick had fallen out of sight. We turn around to look, Seamus's button had exploded, leaving his robes on fire. Dean was frantically trying to help him put out the fire.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
  
  
We went for Divination next. Professor Trewlaney (sp) was already sitting there staring at us through her big thick glasses. As we entered, warm air gush out to welcome us, it was thick with perfume.   
  
'Come in. Today we are looking at stars.' she said pointing to some telescope. She walked across the room as we took our seats.  
  
'Oh dear, I just predicted that I'll fall today, trip over something. I ought to be more careful.' she said. Larvenda Brown and Parvati Patil casted nervous glances at each other. Seamus and Dean was laughing over something funny. She walked over to Neville.  
  
'Today, you will find something that you lost quite a while ago.' Neville stared at her nervously.  
  
'Today, Jupiter is-'she stopped quite suddenly. For a moment, I thought she was petrified. Then, in slow motion, she felled onto the floor screaming. She hitted the floor with a loud Thud.  
  
Everyone stood up for a better view of what's going on. She had, as she predicted, tripped over something, either co-incidentally, or because it was because she had predicted it. Because she had tripped over Dean's shoes.   
  
She started searching the floor, on fours, for her glasses which flew away when she fell. Her glasses was right in front of her, which make me seriously doubt that she can see anything without them. Parvati quickly rushed over to help her.  
  
'Oh, no thanks dear, I can find it myself. Now kindly get back to your work.' she said.  
  
At the end of the lesson, professor Trewalney was still on the floor looking for her glasses.  
  
  
  
We found Hermione at the library later.   
  
'Hermione, what's got into you?' I asked.  
  
'Oh, you don't want to know.' she replied.  
  
'Spit it out. We want to know. Does it have got anything to do with that letter? What is it about? Quirrell? Hagrid? You-' I said.  
  
'Don't mind if I ask you a question.' asked Hermione.  
  
'What.' asked Harry.  
  
'I've been think... Victor Krum is coming to visit be during this summer-'   
  
'Oh... so that's what the letter is all about. Vicky. He can't even pronounce your name right, Herm-own-ninny.' I said irritated.  
  
'Oh, don't call him that. Ok, he's coming to visit me... Do you think errr..., if I ask him, that... you reckon he will join the SPEW?' asked Hermione she said quickly.  
  
Suddenly, Dumbledore apparated into the library with a loud crack. Hermione tossed a copy of 'Hogwarts: A History' at him and told him to read it.   
  
'You can't apparate or disapparate within this castle. It's been enchanted with spells that do not allow you to do so.' she said. Dumbledore's looks suddenly changed, so quickly that you don't know it changed.   
  
'How dare you! Being so rude to your Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizard in the world, in my opinion, the greatest. Careful I expell you from this school.' He took out his walking stick and pointed at her. 'Expelliarmus!' he said. Nothing happened. He looked around with a confused look on his face. 'Nevermind.' he said.  
  
'Thought you will be in the restricted section. Want to go in? Just for fun. See if Argus can find us, go in and steal books to toss at Mrytle.' Dumbledore said exctitedly.  
  
'Err... No thanks, Professor.' said Harry. Dumbledore looked disappointed.  
  
'Oh, I came to discuss about the next Quidditich match, after the one between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. We need to practice. Every evening. See how lucky we are. I managed to get all other houses to cancel their practice so that we can practice and win.' he said.  
  
'Erm, Professor,-' before Harry could finish, he had disapparated.  
  
  
  
The following week, was Quidditch, Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff. We walked into the stadium, it was mainly blue and yellow. We quickly found seats and sat there. Cho was waving at Harry, but he did not seem to see her.   
  
Dumbledore was waving a big Gryffindor flag, on it was:' Go Gryffindor, Go!'. And he was yelling at the top of his voice,' GRYFFINDOR!!!'.  
  
The game started and all the blues and yellows, on lousy cleansweeps began flying around the stadium.   
  
In the middle of the game, Ravenclaw was leading, seventy to fifty. Dumbledore was sitting beside me. Though he wasn't siding any sides, he swore when anyone missed or score a goal, which means everytime a chaser tries to score.  
  
'Arggg... you stupid fool.... you missed. That was an easy one you idiot...' said Dumbledore when a Hufflepuff missed a goal. Dumbledore could not take it any longer.   
  
He took out his wand and shouted, 'Accio broom.' His broom came charging towards him, smacking Harry's face and stopped in front of him. Dumbledore stood up and stepping on Neville's head, mounted his broom and took off, smacking Harry's face again.  
  
His broom bobbed for a moment and he felled down sideways onto Percy.  
  
'Ouch! Excuse me, I'm a prefect, and I am Mr. Crouch and Mr. Fudge-to-be personal assistant. No one shall fall on a prefect, not to mention, headboy. The ministry of- Ouch, you're trodding on my legs Mr. Dumbledore.' said Percy puffing out his chest.  
  
'Oops, sorry. It's all your fault, so many ruddy people blocking my way.Get lost everyone, I'm about to win this game.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But Professor.' said Hermione, 'it's Hufflepuff against Ravenclaw today.'  
  
'Oh, oh... so sorry, I forgot.' Dumbledore whispered. He made his way back to his seat by stepping on everyone's heads.  
  
'Ouch.'  
  
'My head. Trevor, there you...'  
  
'Owww... My hair'  
  
'Stop it.'  
  
'Hey! Excuse me, I'm a prefect...'   
  
'My scar...'  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
The match had ended with Hufflepuff leading, two hundred and twenty to one hundred and thirty. The Hufflepuff seeker had managed to catch the snitch, Cho was crying. Dumbledore was cursing everyone around him. 


	16. Dobby Warns again

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the related characters, they belong to J.K.Rowling. Anyway, Thank you Sunshine*girl-Hermione for reviewing.  
  
Ch16 Dobby's Warning - again  
  
The next morning, we were sitting in the great hall having breakfast.  
  
Crack.  
  
Something ugly had appeared in front of Harry, followed by Hermione's 'tut'. But Hermione's expression soften when she saw that thing.  
  
'Dobby has come to tell you that Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.' said that thing.  
  
'But I am in the Hogwarts.' said Harry. The thing gasped and started knocking his head onto Harry's.   
  
'Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! Dobby... iron his hands... Dobby must iron Harry Potter's hands.'The thing screeched. The thing calmed down a little after knocking his head.  
  
'Dobby wants to tell you that Dobby must not go back to-' The thing started again. 'No, Harry Potter must not go into the Chamber of Secrets.' The thing started knocking his head onto Harry's again, breaking his glasses.  
  
'Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby... Dobby is a bad thing... a bad Dobby. Dobby must not be bad Dobby.' said the thing.   
  
'Who not?' asked Harry, trying to spellotape his glasses. 'Why musn't I go into the Chamber Of Secrets? Are you bathing there again?'  
  
'There's a plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.' said the thing.  
  
'What terrible things, who's plotting them?' asked Harry.  
  
'Dobby can't say a thing...' said the thing as it started knocking his head onto Harry's, breaking his taped glasses once more.   
  
'Oh, you poor thing.' said Hermione as she moved forward to kiss Dobby. Then suddenly, everything turns brown, my view was blocked by Hermione's bushy brown hair.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.   
  
'What plot? If you don't tell me, I don't friend you.' said a Dumbledore suddenly appearing from my back.  
  
'Dobby can't say a thing!' said the thing again hitting his head onto Harry's nose.  
  
'You better tell me, or I'll give you clothes.' said Dumbledore loudly.  
  
'Alright then, he's back, V- I mean, He-who-must-not-be-named is back, he's in the chamber waiting, waiting for his next victim...' said Dobby.  
  
'And?' asked Dumbledore, as the thing gave a loud sniff.  
  
'He's waiting for Harry Potter, he knows that Harry Potter will to... Ok, he-who-must-not-be-name is waiting for Harry Potter to try and get into the Chamber of Secrets, he will be waiting for Harry Potter there. If Harry Potter goes into the chamber of secrets, he will... he will...' The thing said.  
  
'He will start throwing poo at Harry Potter. Oh my! Bad Dobby, Bad Dobby!' said the thing.  
  
'You mean Voldemort is back?' asked Dumbledore as I flinched.  
  
'Huh? Not Voldemort sir, never Voldemort.' said the thing. 'The fat man!'   
  
'Huh?' Who?' asked Harry holding his bloody nose. The thing beckon Harry closer and whispered something into his ear.  
  
'What? Uncle Vernon?' yelled Harry.  
  
'Ah! Speak not of that name sir. Bad Harry Potter, bad Harry Potter.' It shouted as it started slaping Harry's head.  
  
'The muggle is plotting something against Harry?' asked Dumbledore. Crack. It disappeared. Dumbledore walked away, turning back several times to wink at Harry.  
  
Suddenly, Professor Mcgonagall started knocking her goblet with a fork like she usually does, 'May I have your attention please?'  
  
Dumbledore stood up, winked at Harry, and started speaking, 'Peanuts are magic, I have peanuts, and so should you. If you don't have any peanuts? I have. You can come to me, and I'll show you some peanuts. Then, we can all enjoy peanuts together.' With that, he disapparated.  
  
We looked at each other with raised eyebrows, Neville wore a very confused expression. Hermione, however smiled and looked over, 'You understand, don't you.'  
  
'Don't tell us then.' I said.  
  
'Fine!' she snapped and left.  
  
'She doesn't know.' I said.  
  
'He was winking at me, didn't you see, 'spose he was talking to me. But what'd he meant by Magic peanuts, about him having peanuts and us not having peanuts?' asked Harry.  
  
'Wicked!' I said.  
  
'Do you think we should go and look for him.' asked Harry who was trying to repair his glasses with his wand. I shrugged.  
  
We went to look for Dumbledore.  
  
'Wicked.' I said, but to no avail.  
  
'He's probably changed his password, now we can't go in.' said Harry.  
  
'Peanut Butter.' said Mcgonagall from behind us. We jumped, Harry jumped about two inch further than me. The stone gargolye spring to life and we entered. We knocked on the door and walked in. Dumbledore was sitting on his chair and seemed to be waiting for someone. He winked his eyes when he saw Harry and I thought I saw it twinkle for three seconds.   
  
'I knew you'd be here. What took you so long anyway, I gave you hints eariler in the hall, I just wanted you to come and look for me, to visit me.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Take a seat. Ok, What are you doing here anyway, were you looking for me?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'Yes.' replied Harry.  
  
'What for?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'You wanted me to come and look for you, didn't you say so.' said Harry again.  
  
'Oh really?' asked Dumbledore angrily. 'I don't like people to lie to me.'  
  
'Who lied to you?' asked Harry.  
  
'Guess who.' sid Dumbledore.  
  
'Don't know, tell me.' said Harry.  
  
'You just did.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'When?' asked Harry annoyed.  
  
'You said I wanted you to come, I certainly don't remember saying so.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But-' started Harry.  
  
'No buts!' yelled Dumbledore.  
  
'I see, you've come to visit me, how nice of you.' said Dumbledore calming down. 'What are you here for anyway?'  
  
'Look professor, about what you said eariler, at the great hall-' started Harry.  
  
'What did I say at the great hall,' said Dumbledore starting to flare up again, 'Don't accuse me of saying something I didn't say, I didn't say no nothing!'  
  
'-about the peanuts.' squeaked Harry.  
  
'Wicked, Harry, I didn't know you could squeak. Well I squeak too.' I said.  
  
'Well then, let's all squeak.' said Dumbledore as he started squeaking. When he finished, he said, 'What were we talking about before this.'  
  
'Errr... about peanuts, you were saying in the hall.' said Harry.  
  
'Well, you are supposed to squeak.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'About the peanuts.' squeak Harry.  
  
'Oh, Ho, ho, ho, ho... It's about the peanuts Harry, anyway, you sounded like a mouse. Haw haw... anyway, back about the peanuts. What did I say about the peanuts?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'You said something about us not-' explained Harry.  
  
'Oh, wait. I think I remember, about me giving you peanuts, magical peanuts, right?' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Well, yes.' I said.  
  
'Shoosh! I wasn't talking to you, don't interrupted my conversation between me and famous Harry Potter, such an honour. Ok, Harry, basically, magical peanuts means peanuts that can be eaten. And I want you to eat peanuts with me. But unfortunally for you, I seemed to have misplaced my peanuts when I apparated here-' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Ha!' shouted Hermione. Dumbledore stared angrily at her.  
  
'Hermione? Where did you-' asked Harry.  
  
'Voldemort!' yelled Dumbledore.  
  
'Ha! I'm not afraid of that name anymore.' shouted Hermione back at him.  
  
'Arrggg...' Dumbledore stood up, threw his walking stick at her. She fainted. Suddenly Moaning Mrytle appeared.  
  
'Can you throw at me too?' she asked pitifully.  
  
'Nope.' said Dumbledore. She cried and flew out.  
  
'Ok, Harry, so, magical peanuts means peanuts that can be eaten. And I want you to eat peanuts with -' said Dumbledore.  
  
'You told us already.' I said.  
  
'Oh, ok, I've misplaced my peanuts and I can't eat them with you. Ok, off you go, and carry her out. Now, bye.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But-' started Harry.  
  
'Bye.' said Dumbledore.  
  
Harry walked to the door and dragged Hermione out.  
  
'Well, what are you waiting for?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'Well, I said, there's a spider at the door and I certainly don't like spiders.' I said.  
  
'Ho ho ho... It's only a spider, what are you afraid of?' said Dumbledore. He walked towards the door, 'See? It's only a small spider, nothing to be afraid of. Now, you'll just have to kill it, walk over and step on it.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Can't you kill it?' I asked. The spider suddenly crawled closer to us, Dumbledore jumped up and ran to his table, stood on it and apparated out. I apparated back to my common room. I sat there a tried to get my mind off the spiders when Harry finally came in an hour later, with Hermione on his back, panting like crazy.   
  
He dropped her onto the floor. She woke up.  
  
'Hey, what did you do that for. And what took you so long?'she yelled at Harry. 'Did you know how uncomfortable it was? I woke up half an hour ago, and half an hour later you finally arrived-'.  
  
'What? You woke half an hour ago, and you didn't even tell me? I had to carry you for like err... five, ten, an hour. Why didn't you just tell me.' Harry yelled back.  
  
'You don't even let me ride on your back for a little while, selfish pig.' said Hermione before running off to the bathroom to cry. 


	17. The Spider

Disclaimer: I don't and repeat, I DO NOT own Harry Potter and you all know that, and I don't own any characters either, well, mostly. Only made up one extra, only mentioned once in a chapter.  
  
Ch 17 The Spider  
  
In the Great Hall the next day.  
  
Snap.  
  
'Hi Harry! I'm Colin Creevy, I'm in Gryffindor too. My parents are muggles, my dad's a milkman, he-' said Colin excitedly.   
  
'I know that already.' said Harry.  
  
'Oh. Can have your autograph then?' asked Colin smiling.  
  
'No-' said Harry.  
  
'Oh, so you are giving out autographs, Potter!' came a drawling voice from behind. Malfoy was heading in their direction smiling widely, following closely behind was Crabbe and Goyle, smiling widely too.  
  
'Yeah Potter, so you are giving out autographs huh?' said Crabbe.  
  
'Potter, you are giving out autograph.' said Goyle.  
  
'So, Weasley, you want them I 'spose, might get you a new house.' said Malfoy.  
  
'Yeah, Weezley, I suppose you would want one, you can get a new house with that.' said Crabbe.  
  
'Wizeey can get a new house.' said Crabbe.  
  
'Everyone! Potter is giving out signed autograph! Come and queue for one.' shouted Malfoy.  
  
'Look everyone, Potter's giving out photos, come and get yours.' boomed Crabbe.  
  
'Really? Potter is giving out signed photos? Can I have one?' asked Goyle.  
  
'Shut up Malfoy.' said Harry. Malfoy sneered at harry, and walked away. Crabbe and Goyle followed him.  
  
'Hey, I haven't seen Hermione since last night.' said Harry. 'You think she's all right?'  
  
'Wicked! Hermione's petrified.' I said.  
  
'Really?' asked Harry.  
  
'Really.' I said.  
  
'Really really?' asked Harry.  
  
'Really.' I said. 'Percy told me this morning.' Half an hour later, we walked to Umbridge's class for Defence against Dark Arts.   
  
'Hello everyone.' she screeched as everyone took their seats. We sat at the back ignoring her. 'Hem hem. How are you? I'm fine thank you. Well please sit down, greet me everyone, not like this, louder, louder, even louder, higher than this, no come on, use your stomach to greet, no, no, no, too low, I still can't hear you. Very Good. Well done, give yourselves a hand. Come on, clap louder. Good.' She walked over to something huge, covered with a red cloth.  
  
'Today, I going to teach you how to defend yourselves, I going to teach you how to arm yourselves against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind, not only that no harm can befall you whilst I'm here, I must ask you not to scream, it might provoke them.' she said shirlly as she pulled off the red cloth. Under it was a mirror. The very mirror that professor Quirrell had tried to pull the stone out from, the mirror that he hit his head onto, the very creepy mirror.  
  
'There's a very scary creature inside it, a very horrible, evil looking, ugly, foul creature lives inside it. Only I dared look inside it. It all happened yesterday. I was having tea with Sybill Trelawny, we were talking about me, how I got into this school, only the bravest, is suitable for this job... this particular job. And how I got to be the high insquitititatitor. How I got to be me, yes, the magical me.' She wiped a tear off her eye. 'How, for five weeks, I got top for witch weekly's most fingernails award. Until yesterday, I told her that my fingernails got petrified by a boy... ' She said looking angrily at Harry.  
  
'Then, the very yesterday, the big day, she left the room. I walked over to this mirror and looked into it. And I saw it... The creature. It had toad like eyes, a big wide mouth, a toad monster I assume. On it's head was curly fur, it was very huge, probably ate alot of poor people. It was wearing a pink flowerly dress, one that look like mine, probably stealed it, proves that I've got good taste. It wore a pink ribbon on it's head, it had long broken claws and was staring hungrily at me! IT MUST HAVE WANTED TO EAT ME!!! But luckily I was calm, I didn't panic. I quickly took out my wand to charm it, guess what it did? It took out it's wand too. Gracious me, must have taken someone's wand. And fortunally for me, I was quick enough, I ran off. It's still lurking in there.' She walked over to the mirror. 'Watch me.' She told us.  
  
Neville's face was very pale. I stared at her very frightened.   
  
'COME OUT YOU MONSTER. BEFORE I CHARM YOU. I'LL BREAK THE GLASS, wait a minute, you are holding a stone, GIVE IT TO ME. NOW!!! STOP WASTING MY TIME.' she yelled. 'HOW DARE YOU!!!'   
  
Umbridge jumped towards the mirror, hitted her head and fell unconcious to the floor.  
  
'Bloody hell.' I said as walked towards the mirror and saw my reflection.  
  
'You still look like yourself, you need to look more like Percy.' said Harry.  
  
'Bloody Hell.' I said frowning.  
  
'Excellent.' said Harry. 'But where's Hermione?'  
  
'Petrified.' I said.  
  
'Oh well.' said Harry putting his wand back. The bell rang and we ran out. We met Hagrid at the corridor.  
  
'Hi Harry. Hi Ron. I spent half me life chasing the Weasley twins away from the dark forest.' He boomed.  
  
'Hello Hagrid.' we said.  
  
'Hi Harry.' I said. Harry looked at me stupidly.  
  
'Harry, I'm lookin' fer yer, found yer at las'. I wanted ter tell yer summat. Let me think, Oh yes, If anybody's looking fer summat, all they have got ter do is to follow the spiders.' Hagrid said.  
  
'But who do you want to help you follow the spiders?' asked Harry spinning around to see who Hagrid was talking to. Maybe there was someone behind in Harry's invisibility cloak.  
  
'Oh, isn't it obvious? I'm talking ter yeh!' said Hagrid to Harry. 'Who'd you expect? Pumpkin juice?' Hagrid left.  
  
'Who likes spiders?' I said thinking about their disgustion black hairy leg, I'm afraid of anything with hairy legs. Ever wondered why I'm so afraid of Dumbledore?   
  
Suddenly, we saw some small spiders walking on the floor.  
  
'Look! A spider! Remembered what Hagrid said? We need to follow the spiders! Come on.' said Harry.  
  
'Oh no, my legs have turned to jelly.' I shouted holding my legs, 'Harry, carry me.' I jumped onto Harry and we both stumbled forwards and smashed the spiders, killing a few.  
  
We then followed the ones that didn't die, we followed them around the castle for a few hours. Round and round the castle we went.  
  
Then finally, we reached a room, and there was a giant thing inside.  
  
'Hagrid... Is that you?' It said.  
  
'We're friends of Hagrid.' Harry said bravely.  
  
'But Hagrid's never sent men to our room before.' said the thing, 'I'm Aragog, pet of Rubeus Hagrid, pet of keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts. And why are you here?'  
  
'Errrm... Hagrid said to follow the spiders.' said Harry.  
  
'Oh... really? I see.' said the thing.  
  
'We'll just go.' said Harry. Harry stepped closer to me and whispered into my ear.  
  
'We'll have to run for it-'   
  
'Well, well, well. I didn't kill no nothing. It was you-know-who's pet, not my owner's pet. It's was you-know-what, that yellow eye thing. I came in the pocked of something. I never saw that thing. When you-know-who was young, his name was you-know-which, and you-know-what lived in you-know-where, I've never been to you-know-where. Never.'  
  
'We'll just go.' said Harry.  
  
'Go?' said the thing. Suddenly, the thing died and we left.  
  
'Follow the spiders. Follow the spiders. If Hagrid ever comes here again, I'll kill him.' I said angrily. 'I mean, what's the point of sending us in there? What have we found out?'  
  
'That Aragog never killed no one, NEVER!' shouted Harry.   
  
We met Hermione on our way down, she had been unpetrified by Dumbledore when he went in and made a whole load of noise.   
  
'Granger? Where have you been? Pigging out to the great hall all this while.' came Malfoy's voice.  
  
'Yeah Granger? Where were you? Were you pigging in the great hall?' asked Crabbe.  
  
'Granger. You are pigging out.' said Goyle. Malfoy sneered. Hermione cried and ran to the girl's bathroom to cry.  
  
'Hello Weasel. Potty.' sid Malfoy still sneering.  
  
'Hi Weasley, Potter.' said Crabbe.  
  
'Weasel in the potty.' said Goyle confused.  
  
'Shut up, Malfoy.' I said.  
  
'Malfoy, shut up.' said Golye then looking horrified with himself.  
  
'What's wrong with you Goyle?' said Malfoy.  
  
'Yeah, what's wrong with you Goyle?' said Crabbe.  
  
'Goyle, are you wrong? I mean, stomache ache.' said Goyle. We walked to the transfiguration classroom. Professor Mcgonagall was teaching us how to transfigure our hands onto feets. Only Hermione managed to do so, only that she couldn't hold the wand transfigure it back. Parvatil had managed to make her hands drop off. At the end of the lesson, other the two, the rest of us had not managed to change our hands. Everyone except Hermione were given homework to do.  
  
Later that night, midnight, we were happily snoring away when suddenly there was a loud crash. I jerk awake, Harry was putting on his glasses. Seamus and Dean were stirring in their beds and Neville screamed. There was a loud grunt from beside my bed.I saw a huge shadow silhouette against the window. It was breathing slowly and woke up when it heard Neville's scream. Harry took out his wand.  
  
'Lumos.' he said. We walked closer towards the dark shadow.  
  
'Dumbledore?' Seamus said.  
  
'Professor, what are you doing here?' asked Harry. Dumbledore grunted.  
  
'I'm sleeping here, can't you see, the air conditional in my room has broken down, I came here to sleep.' said Dumbledore. 'And I hope you'll forgive your gentle Headmaster for doing so. He has done so much for the school.'  
  
'No!' shouted Seamus. 'Never!'  
  
'Slience!' shouted Dumbledore. '...where you in my house have your fate rested in my hands, I assure you that you will be on your way home tonight, as it is.'  
  
'They are not.' came a voice as Professor Mcgonagall and someone else entered.  
  
'Professor Mcgonagall, Professor Lockhart.' said Harry.  
  
'They are in Gryffindor, and therefore it is up to me to determine their appropriate punishment.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'Thanks Professor.' said Seamus.  
  
'What are you talking about, Mr. Finnigan?' asked Professor Mcgonagall.  
  
'I said Thanks.' said Seamus.  
  
'I was going to expell you.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'Huh? Noooooooo...' yelled Seamus.  
  
'Ha! So unlucky I wasn't here, Finnigan. I know just the spell that can get them to forget what they've heard.' said Lockhart. Seamus was still wimpering at his bed.  
  
'Ha ha, gotcha, I was just joking.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'Haw haw haw Minerva. You had me fooled too. Haw haw haw. You old fool. Haw Haw... I mean, I knew you were joking all along... You can't fool the smartedt wizard on earth... Haw haw... Did you see the look on Fi-ninni-gan's face? Haw haw haw?' Roared Dumbledore I swore the whole school woke. Moaning Mrytle flew in.  
  
'What was that? You were laughing at poor ugly old miserable moaning mrytle again aren't you?' she flew out again crying.  
  
'I had you fooled.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'No you didn't, as I said, who are you to fool the smartest wizard on earth, you dunderhead.' Roared Dumbledore.  
  
'Oh yes I did. I certainly did fooled you.' said Mcgonagall.  
  
'Oh. Shut up! What about me? I'm braver than either of you.' said Lockhart.  
  
'I am the bravest, smartest, best looking wizard. Ever!' yelled Dumbledore. Then suddenly, they all disapparated. We went back to our beds to sleep. 


	18. Petrified

Disclaimer: I do not and I meant DO NOT own Harry Potter and the other characters whatsoever. I own nothing, NOTHING!!! except the stupid plot, and which few of the lines come from the movie. As you all know. HARRY POTTER!!! So enjoy reading as I enjoy writing. P.S. I do not enjoy writing.   
  
Ch 18 The Writings On The Wall  
  
We walked down to the great hall (Everytime the great hall) for breakfast (as usual). We ate and quickly moved to the Quidditch field to practice(change of scene, finally).  
  
Mcgonagall was wearing Tartan robes, and Hagrid was wearing that old Oliver Wood's robes. Dumbledore was the last to arrived. He bobbed down from the window of the second story(he's afraid of heights) very slowly, finally, about what seemed an hour, reached the gound of the field. He was wearing a flowery robes that looked more like a dress, and changed his half moon glasses to half moon sunglasses. He was sitting on a old and slow shooting star.  
  
'Morning everyone!' He said loudly when he touch down. 'Our next match is against Hufflepuff. Today we are practicing against Hufflepuff. Hey I think that rhymes, against Hufflepuff and against Hufflepuff. Bet I'll be a poet when I grow older. And looks like they don't stand a chance whilst I'm captain. Oh, here they come.'  
  
Dressed in yellow and black, the Hufflepuffs walked into the pitch, proudly leading by Cedric Diggory(woke up after he died and in year eight though there isn't), three burly looking boys whose heads kept knocking against each other's, I supposed are the chasers, two really huge girls and trying to hide himself behind the rest, was Oliver Wood.  
  
'Wood?' said Harry. Oliver wood stopped trying to hide.  
  
'Yes, it's me.' he said looking guilty.  
  
'What are you doing in Hufflepuff? Wait a minute, haven't you graduated?' asked Harry again.  
  
'Errr... I supposed they did, but I still owed Diggory a favour...' Wood's voice trailed off. He turned to look at the new Gryffindors players. He turned and gasped when he saw Dumbledore.  
  
'Wooo... look at that pweetty flower.'   
  
'Oh, bought it from a muggle store, called Toy 'R' Us. Saw many more pretty flower clothes there.Most of them are just too small, I don't think muggles can even wear them, I wonder... Used magic to stretch the shirty.  
  
'Really? Why didn't you buy for me? The little cutie shirty... wooo... can I touch it?' asked Wood excitedly.  
  
'Ay, What's up?' Cedric Diggory walked over.  
  
'Just admiring Albus' new pretty shirt.' said Wood trying to charm the flowers on the shirt to make it move. 'The flowers can't move.'  
  
'Yeah, muggles stuff can't move' agreed Dumbledore.  
  
'Flowers don't move.' said Cedric coolly.  
  
'Can we start the game now?' asked Fred impatiently as him and George mounted their broomsticks preparing to fly.  
  
'Wait!' Dumbledore roared. He turned and beckon the, closer. He began to whisper, 'We must plan first. Ok, we'll follow the previous match, only pass the Quaffle to me. You, twins, keep an eye on me and the buldger, I'm the first piority, protect me from them. You, scarboy, remember to catch the snitch, in the meantime, if you don't see it, use your body to protect me from buldgers too. You, weasley, the keeper, protect the hoop, and protect me, and the other chasers, pass the quaffle to me. Get it?'  
  
Dumbledore stepped away excitedly.   
  
'Wood!' He called as Wood walked over.  
  
'Yes? Ohhh... I love the cutie little flowers. The pinks ones are really pretty...'  
  
'You are the keeper right?' asked Dumbledore.  
  
'Oh, are you going to bribe me? Never! I'll never betray my team, unless... the flowers are really pretty, get what I mean.' Wood said winking at Dumbledore's dress.  
  
'Oh, I'm not bribing you, I'm just telling you not to get too close to me when I score-' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But I have to, to defend the hoop when you come close and to catch a view of the pweetty pinky flowers. Ahhh...'  
  
'No, you might hit me, if I fall, I'll dirty the robes-' continued Dumbledore.  
  
'Alright. Just don't dirty the pretty flowers.'  
  
  
  
The match was tough, both teams were playing as well as each other, Wood kept flying away from Dumbledore to let him score and the two Hufflepuff beaters kept hitting buldgers at me. Fred and George couldn't bear to hit Wood. Finally at the end, Lockhart decided to released the snitch, Harry and Cedric flew towards the snitch, both crashed against each other, fell painfully to the ground and couldn't catch the snitch anymore. Finally, Dumbledore was also too tired and decided to end the game, eighty to eighty, neither side won.  
  
  
  
We headed to the owlery, Harry wrote to Sirius, I wrote to mum telling her how much I hate spiders. After writing the letter, two parchment long telling her how much I hate spiders, we decided it was time to go for defence against dark arts. We walked towards Umbridge classroom, and found out that Umbridge got petrified by a dirty rotten snake that was lurking in the hospital wing. Professor Lockhart was waiting in there, and standing on the either side of him was Dumbledore and the crazy mirror.  
  
'I was just teaching Dumbledore how to defend himself against vampires.' said Lockhart. 'I'll be off.' And he ran off.  
  
'Me! Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, your new defence against the dark arts teacher, order of Merlin, first class, your loyal, brave and beloved headmaster, snd the only wizard Tom Marvolo Riddle, or you-know-who, or he-who-must-not-be-named, or the Dark lord, or what many of you fear to say, Voldemort, is afraid of. But I don't talk about that, I didn't scare Voldemort away by smiling at him.' said Dumbledore.   
  
'I also would like to say that Professor Umbridge and Professor Quirrell were in hospital wing because of this, and I would like to show you how the stone is pulled out, it will only show your greatest desire,' He stepped in front of the mirror admiring his reflection. 'Goodness, I'm not holding any stone. I'm holding a pair of socks. Well, this is not just any pair of socks, it is a special pair of socks, it is a rare pair, not everyone can find it. It has a powerful ability. Anyone who sees it will fall in love with it. Why though? Because it has these pretty pink flowers around it. Yesterday, I got that traitor Oliver to look into this mirror, he too saw the flowers. We are a rare kind, not eveyone will see these pretty flowers. Because these people just don't know how to appreciate them.'  
  
'But professor.' said Hermione raising her hand, 'why-'.  
  
'I haven't said "yes, Miss Granger", you musn't talk until I say so. Ok, here goes. Yes? Miss Granger.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about the chamber of secrets?' asked Hermione.  
  
'Ok, let me think, Hogwarts is found by our four founders, errr... Godric Gryffindor, Helga, errr... something, let me think, Oh! Rowena Slytherin! But err... chamber of secrets is where errr... something is petrified and errr... something about a girl called Ginny, and about errrm... a diary? And errr..., nah, this is rubbish, there is no such thing as the chamber of secrets. By the way, did I tell you about the pretty sock?'   
  
We went down for Herbology next. Professor Sprout was petrified and wasn't there, so Dumbledore took over.  
  
'Welcome to green house three, errr... years, now gather round, today I'm not going to teach you how to re-pot mandrakes, nah, that's too dangerous, let's move to greenhouse two then.'   
  
We walked over to green house two wher e the plants are slightly less dangerous, some are not harmful at all.  
  
'Well, I've learnt all the plants that can possibly be in green house two by heart.' said Hermione to a Hufflepuff, Susan Bones.   
  
'Ok gather round, can everybody see me? Can you all-hol-hol hear me? Excellent. Now I'm going to teach you about these.' He took out a pink flower with yellow spots all over it.  
  
'It's called the errrr..., the pretty flower is called the... Miss Granger?' He called out.  
  
'It's called the pinkyew and it's called pinkyew be-' explained Hermione.  
  
'Excellent! two hundred points to Gryffindor! Another two hundred points to Hermione for being so attentive and pretty, ' He yelled. Hermione blushed. Malfoy looked horrified. '-and two hundred points to Harry for destroying the Prophecy in his fifth year, well, I paid eight galleons to get that predicted. Any two hundred to myself for being such a generous teacher and such a brilliant headmaster. Two hundred to Ron for becoming the third prefect in he family. Predicted that too. Assuming that my calculations are accurate, a change of decorations should be done up!' Dumbledore said, winking at Harry  
  
He clapped his hands above his head the green house turned red immediately, the plants turned blood red, scarlet and gold flags appeared on the side of the wall.  
  
He transfigured a gold flower into a tiny goblet and passed it to Harry.  
  
'Gryffindor wins the house cup!' shouted Dumbledore wiping a tear off his eye and Mcgonagall apparated in, she too was crying. 'You make me so proud.'  
  
Dumbledore raised his wand and yelled, 'Accio Snape!' Snape brust through the wall and directly at Dumbldore, whom stepped aside happily.  
  
'Professor, you are not supposed to summon people, the 'accio' thing does not-' said Hermione but suddenly, the ugly thing flew in and fell on top of Hermione.  
  
Snape got up, snaring loudly and walked put of the room.  
  
'Time to celebrate!' shouted Dumbledore. Suddenly, the was a loud crack and the wierd sisters appeared and started playing a slow tune, Neville and Professor Sprout who just came out of the hospital wing started waltzing across the room. Everyone starting dancing.  
  
'Bloody hell!' I yelled.  
  
Argus Flinch appeared at the doorway, 'What's going on here, all the noise-' Mcgonagall suddenly turned into a cat and danced with Mrs Norris.  
  
'That's Bloody Brilliant.' I said. Harry stood beside me.  
  
'You are late, Argus, I'll better transfigure you into a clock.' shouted Dumbledore.  
  
'I was lost.' lied Flich.  
  
'Or perhaps... a map.' said Dumbledore, he waved his wand and transfigured Flich into a map.  
  
'Please, sir, Dobby is sorry, sir.' said the thing tp Hermione. 'Dobby understands, sirs, Dobby had come to tell you that Dobby is about to serve one family forever... if they ever knew Dobby was here.' The thing shivered. Hermione nodded understandingly.  
  
'And I'm not a sir.' said Hermione, 'I'm Hermione, hermione Granger, which makes me a miss. I've setted up the S.P.E.W., for house elves It's to protect all rights of-.' before she finished, Dobby disapparated. Malfoy was behind Hermione.  
  
'Enemies of the heir, beware? You'll be next, Mudbloods.' said Malfoy looking at the far end of the green house, then to the three of us.   
  
'But Hermione's the only mudblood here, you know that, I know you do.' said Harry. Suddenly, Dumbledore, Flitwick and Flich started screaming. Everyone stopped moving suddenly, and I could see some writings on the wall.  
  
'Look.' I said pointing to the wall.  
  
'Where?' asked Harry, who was so short he couldn't see.  
  
  
  
The chamber of secrets has been opened.   
  
Enemies of the heir... beware   
  
And beside the wall, was two cats and a flower.  
  
'The chamber of secrets has been opened, enemies of the heir beware.' Hermione repeated to us.  
  
'You've mudrered my cat, I'll kill you, I'll kill you!' shouted Flich pulling Harry's collar.  
  
'Argus.' said Dumbledore as Flich released Harry.  
  
'Minerva's been murdered, I'll kill you, I'll kill you!' yelled Flitwick pulling Harry's collar.  
  
'Errr... Professor Flitwick!' said Dumbledore as he released Harry.  
  
'They are not dead, they have been petrified... but how they have been petrified... I cannot tell.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Ask him, this evil has done it.' squeaked Flitwick.  
  
'You saw what he wrote on the wall.' said Flich. Dumbledore winked at us.  
  
'My cat has been petrified, all I see is some punishment.' yelled Flich.  
  
'Minerva has been petrified, all I see is some punishment.' shouted Flitwick.  
  
'My flower has been petrified, all I see is some punishment!' screamed Dumbledore.  
  
The three of them stared at Harry angrily for a long time, Dumbledore's eyes weren't twinkling anymore, but the star in the sky was. They stared and stared for a long time.  
  
Suddenly Cedric came in.  
  
'I couldn't help overhearing, Albus, flowers don't have eyes.' Then he left.  
  
'Oh, I'll be able to cure them, Professor, the-' said Lockhart.  
  
'Noooooo...' shouted Dumbledore.  
  
'What?' asked Lockhart.  
  
'The pretty flower look so pale, she's really been petrified, ohhh...' sobbed Dumbledore.  
  
'My cat's been petrified by Potter!' roared Flinch. 'Potter knows, now everybody knows... I am a SQUIB!!!'  
  
'Really? You mean it?' asked Harry.  
  
'My Minerva had been perified, what will my mummy say... ' wimpered Flitwick.   
  
'Ok, everybody back to bed.' said Dumbledore cheerfully. 'And Potter will have detention, a week's detention. And-'   
  
'But professor, I swear it wasn't me, I didn't touch Mrs Norris, or Professor Mcgonagall, or your flower, I was here all the time, It wasn't me.' explained Harry.  
  
'Tell it to the judge! NOW, OUT!!!' yelled Dumbledore and all of us left and headed to our common rooms.   
  
Read finished? Review time... 


	19. The Rogue Buldger

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and all the related or non-related characters. There's no non-related characters except for me. Anyway, I've decided to type it in the third person view instead of Ron's view, so you get to see Ron's name. It's easier this way.  
  
Ch 19 The Rogue Buldger   
  
  
  
The quidditch players walked down for quidditch a morning, Hufflepuff versus Gryffindor, actually Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. Lee Jordan was commenting,  
  
'From Gryffindor team, Dumbledore, Mcgonagall, Hagrid, Weasley, Weasley, Weasley and Potter. From Hufflepuff, Diggory, Tamberelli, Knowings, Saul, Morningtoast, Wintersnow and errr... Wood? Isn't he from Gryffindor?' There were boos and cheers.   
  
Harry and Ron mounted their Firebolts and flew up into the air, Harry was smiling and waving at his fans, who were cheering for him. Ron was busy scowling at them because they weren't waving at him.  
  
From the ground, Professor Hooch was getting ready to start the game, everyone was waiting in position, and Professor Hooch was waiting for Dumbledore, whose shooting star got broken in the previous match when he tried to join in the Hufflepuff against Ravenclaw game. His shooting star just wasn't working right, it was moving very slowly(made no difference anyway), and the shooting star was shooting stars out of the tip of it's handle. Five minutes later, he arrived beside Harry.  
  
'One... two... three, let the game begin.' she yelled and everyone flew off before she finished. Fifteen minutes later, Hufflepuff was leading by twenty points because Dumbledore and Ron were just so lousy. Dumbledore kept telling Hermione off saying that he couldn't score because she was staring at him.   
  
Suddenly, Dumbledore's broken shooting star started shooting stars out again and vibrating like any normal broomstick does.   
  
'Help me! I'm going to fall off, Snape! Stop jinxing the broom!' and suddenly the broom stopped vibrating and Dumbledore who was so shocked, fell off.  
  
The game went on and on for several hours and the score was one hundred and sixty to eighty, Hufflepuff was leading and Harry needed to find the snitch before they lose.  
  
Suddenly, a buldger, out of somewhere started flying towards Harry. Harry ducked and flew towards another direction and the buldger chased him.  
  
As Harry tried to shake the Buldger off by flying in different directions, and managed to get it to hit Marcus Flint.   
  
'Goal!!!' Harry cheered as the snitch flew into his hands and the bloody buldger hit his head causing him to fall off and he fainted when he fell to the ground. The buldger started attacking his unconcious body trying to make him faint again(must be very stupid).  
  
'Blind me! Harry's gotten himself a rogue, that's been tampered with.' Shouted Hagrid for everyone to hear.   
  
'I'll stop it!' yelled Hermione pointing her wand at the buldger.  
  
  
  
'Bloody Buldger, Bloody Brilliant!' she yelled. The buldger continued attacking Harry(buldger still very stupid).  
  
'Bloody Barron, Pester Peeves!' nothing happened again.  
  
'Boring Bludger, Bother Boyfriend!' This time, the buldger flew towards her and broke her wand, then flew back and started hitting Harry again, trying to make faint.  
  
'My wand! Wand, come on wand!' squeaked Hermione as she turned to Neville and said, 'Say it, I doomed.'  
  
'You're doomed.' said Neville confidently. He turned back and tried to cover his eyes.  
  
Hermione stole Neville's wand when he wasn't looking because hers was broken.  
  
'Sunshine, dasies, butter mellow, turn this stupid buldger balloon!' she yelled. The buldger suddenly turned into a balloon and started slapping Harry's face. And after a while, it burst.  
  
Hermione, Hagrid, Ron and Lockhart ran towards Harry whose whole body was broken by then.   
  
'I'll fix your arm stright away.' shouted Lockhart. He went over, made Harry's arm bone disappear, made all his bones disappear, then brought him to the hospital wing to drink skele-gro.  
  
They arrived at the hospital wing a few minutes later. Malfoy and Flint were groaning inside. Malfoy had a broken arm, Flint had a broken face which was broken by the buldger. Malfoy had broken his arm because he called Buckbeak ugly.  
  
'Oh stop fussing Mr Flint, you may go.' said Pomfrey, 'you should have come stright to me, I can mend bones in a heartbeat, but growing them back...'  
  
  
  
Harry was sleeping in the Hospital wing that night when he heard a voice and awoke with a start.  
  
'Come... come to me... let me rest... in peace...'   
  
He got up and followed the voice. He followed, out of the hospital, out of the west wing, out and he stopped. It was coming from Moaning Mrytle's bathroom. He went in.  
  
'Come to throw something at me?' asked Mrytle.  
  
'Why would I want to throw something at you?' asked Harry.  
  
'Because, because Dobby is bathing!!! Ahhh...' she flew away. Harry found Ron lying somewhere in the toilet and got Ron to follow him. Harry said something in parseltongue. The chamber of secrets opened. Suddenly Uncle Vernon appeared from the chamber and started throwing poo at Harry.  
  
'Stop! What the... Why are you throwing at me?' asked Harry.  
  
'Hahahaha... Guess why?' said Uncle Vernon crackling evily like a witch, like a Hermione.  
  
'Because you don't like me?' asked Harry.  
  
'Nope. Guess again.' said Uncle Vernon.  
  
'Errr... I don't know, I give up.' said Harry defeated.  
  
'You-know-who asked me to do it!' shouted Uncle Vernon.  
  
'Why don't you go and throw at someone else, pick on someone your own size.' said Ron.  
  
'But Hagrid is too big.' said Uncle Vernon.  
  
'How about Mrytle.' said Harry. Uncle Vernon went to throw poo at poor miserable ugly old moaning Mrytle.  
  
'Harry, say something in parseltongue.' Ron said.  
  
'Hesh-shaa-hussh-ssha.' said Harry. The chamber opened with music playing from somewhere.  
  
They both jumped in and Ron srceamed a tune. Ron landed on the ground and fainted. Harry landed on Ron but didn't faint, but Uncle Vernon landed on Harry and Harry fainted. Uncle Vernon stood up and woke the both of them, then climbed up again.  
  
They walked and saw something large that look like a snake.  
  
'It's a snake skin.' said Harry as he walked over to the other side.  
  
'Must be at least fifty feet long.' Ron said examining it.  
  
'Oh no.' came Lockhart's voice and there was a loud thud on the floor. Lockhart had fainted on the floor. Then suddenly he jumped up, grabbed Ron's wand and said,  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'Err... Ron Weasley.' said Ron and Lockhart fainted again. When he fell to the floor, the whole place started shaking and the whole tunnel collasped.  
  
'Harry! Harry! You ok? Harry! Har...' Ron was shouting as Harry walked over to a circular door, said something in parseltongue and climbed in.  
  
He heard the voice again and followed it.  
  
'Come... come to me... let me kiss... let me... read...' He walked and saw somebody lying on the floor.  
  
'Ginny!' said Harry as he ran over to wake the person. But it wasn't Ginny, it was Dumbledore. He was listening to his walkman and singing.  
  
'Come to me... rest... peace...'  
  
'Dumbledore, you ok?' asked Harry concerned.  
  
'Yep.' said Dumbledore. 'Tom Riddle told me to come here, says he's got me some flowers.' Dumbledore slept again.  
  
'Tom Riddle?' asked Harry. 'The person in the diary?'  
  
Suddenly, a man appeared, he was tall and thin. He had black hair and his stupid curly fringe was bobbing as he walked.  
  
'Tom. Tom Riddle?' said Harry.  
  
'Yes... it's me...' said Tom Riddle without opening his mouth.  
  
'That's really advanced magic, I thought we will only learn that in year seven, you're only in year six. That's NEWT standard.' said Hermione emerging from somewhere.  
  
'Slience. Put your hand down you silly girl! Mr Potter...Our new celebrity...' said Tom Riddle without moving his mouth.'  
  
'Tom...' Tom Riddle said without moving his mouth.  
  
'Yes, Master?' said Tom, now moving his mouth, clearly, there is someone in Tom's turban.  
  
'I can't breathe.' said the voice.  
  
'Yes, Master.' said Tom still staring at Harry and Hermione. They stare at each other angrily for five minutes until the voice spoke again.  
  
'Tom...'   
  
'Yes? Master?' said Tom.  
  
'I said I can't breathe.' said the voice.  
  
'Right master.' said Tom still staring at Harry, his eyes full of hatred.  
  
'How is it that a baby woth no extraordinary talent is able to defeat-' said Tom.  
  
'I said I can't breathe, Tom, NOW take off the turban.' shouted the the voice impatiently and so loudly that the statues shook like trees and the birds flew away. One of them threw the sorting hat on the floor and flew away.  
  
'Yes master.' said Tom, unwrapping his turban revealing a face at the back of his head. The face of... the face of... Professor Snape.  
  
Tom walked towards Harry and turned around so that Snape came face to face with him.  
  
'Mr Potter... tell me where would you go if I ask you to find me a bazeor?' said Snape evily that the oil on his greasly hair started dripping onto Harry's robes.   
  
'I don't know sir.' said Harry as Hermione's hand shot into the air.   
  
'Pity...Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it? Mr Potter. Ten points will be taken for your classmate's cheek.' snared Snape at Hermione.   
  
'Let's match the power of Lord Voldemort, heir of Salazar Slytherin against the famous Har-' said Tom.  
  
'Silence Tom! I will not tolerate such nonsense! Punish yourself.' said Snape.  
  
'Huh? Sorry master. Bad Tom, bad Tom...' said Tom knocking his head on the floor.  
  
'No, stop, stop Tom, you're hurting me...' shouted a panicking Snape. 'Iron your hands!'  
  
'Yes. Master.' said Tom as they left to iron Tom's hands. Dumbledore suddenly woke up.  
  
'Seesh... just had a nice dream... Ahhh... I was in somewhere, with pretty flowers, I was catching butterfly, then I saw this pretty pink one flying by, and I was about to catch it, ahhh... then, I woke. What a wonderful dream. But pity I can't continue.' said Dumbledore.  
  
Suddenly, Ron came bursting in shouting, 'HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! YOU OK?...'  
  
'I'm fine, Ron.' said Harry staring at a sweaty Ron. Then they all apparated back with the sorting hat, all except Hermione, she climbed back up after she finished tutting. 


	20. The Last Day Of School

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and all the related or non-related characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. This is supposed to be in year dunno what. Don't mind, and it's supposed to be the last chapter of the year. The ending was rubbish.   
  
Ch20 The Last Day  
  
Harry awoke and found himself in the hospital wing the next morning. When he opened his eyes, he saw something golden. The golden snitch, he thought. He raised his arm to grab it. A little further, he thought. He reached out to grab it, his hand closed on something thin and cold, Dumbledore's half moon glasses.  
  
'Huh? What the- What are you trying to do Harry? I can see anything without my glasses, you know that, I know you do.' said Dumbledore. Harry threw the glasses to Dumbledore.  
  
'What are you doing, staring at me when I sleep, people might think that you are Dobby, or the golden snitch.' said Harry putting on his own full moon glasses. He looked around his bed and gasped.  
  
'From your admirers. Harry.' said Dumbledore wiping his chocolate stained mouth owith his robes. He held up a empty chocolate frog box and quickly hid it behind his back.  
  
'I do not deny that, young Harry, I was indeed staring at you... indeed. Harry, have anyone ever told you that you look like your father, but you have your mother's eyes and that you are a parseltongue?' asked Dumbledore kindly, his eyes twinkling merrily.  
  
'Lots of times, you told me before, you know that.' said Harry. Dumbledore didn't answer, he just took a Bertie bott's jelly bean, a brown one and popped it into his mouth.  
  
'Hmmm... Earwax.' He said. He passed chocolate frog card and passed to Harry and told him to read. Harry took it read it out loud.  
  
'Albus Dumbledore. Order of Merlin, first class. Head master of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Twenty-six times winner of witch weekly most witch-like-wizard award. Considered one of the best wizards in the world. He is the only person the Dark lord is afraid of. Best looking wizard in the world.' As Harry read, Dumbledore was staring into his potrait, his chest puffed out like Percy and a tear glinted in his eye. It looked as if it was the proudest moment in his life.  
  
'Errr... Professor, did you-' asked Harry.   
  
'Oh, Harry, want a jelly bean, George swore he had bogey flavour once.' said Dumbledore.  
  
'But-' started Harry. At that moment, the door crashed opened. And Mr Malfoy walked in.  
  
'Out of the way, Dumbledore.' Malfoy said pushing Dumbledore. 'So you are back. Your parents were meddlesome fools too. Mark my words.'   
  
'Lucius-' said Dumbledore.  
  
'Come Dobby.' said Malfoy and Dobby suddenly appeared with a loud crack and followed Malfoy. Harry angrily pulled out uncle Vernon's old sock with the sneakoscope and threw at Malfoy.  
  
'Harry Potter must listen to Dobby. Harry Potter must not throw socks at Master. Master is free!' said Dobby.  
  
'Oh shut up! Vermin. Potter, how dare you throw socks at me! You must throw socks at Dobby, not me, like this, and you must-' said Malfoy demostrating.  
  
'Master has given Dobby a sock... Dobby is free.' said Dobby sucking the smelly sock.  
  
'What, I didn't... You lost me my servant! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!' yelled Malfoy pulling Harry's collar.   
  
'Lucius...' said Dumbledore. Malfoy fumed angrily and walked out noisily.  
  
'Harry Potter freed Dobby... how can Dobby ever repay you?' asked the house elf.  
  
'Just promise me something.' said Harry. 'Never-' before Harry could finish, Dobby disapparated with a crack.  
  
  
  
Just then, Mr Flich burst in like Mr Malfoy.   
  
'My cat has been petrified! All I see is some punishment!' yelled Flich as Pomfrey kept hushing him. Flitwick ran in next panting.  
  
'Minerva has been petrified, all I see is some punishment!' Suddenly, there were several 'meows' from the other end of the hospital wing and both of them went over to see the two cats lying on the bed. One was very ugly and one had square spectacle marking around its eyes.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, there was a roar of fury from a few levels above.  
  
'This must be something have got to do with POTTER!' after a few seconds, Tom Riddle stormed in with Fudge. 'POTTER! OUT WITH IT!' yelled Snape through Riddle's Turban. Harry heard Riddle whispering to Snape.  
  
'Master... this is a year ago. The time turner... I think I turned it too many times. Don't worry, we still can wait. Next year we'll catch Hagrid... Azkaban...'  
  
'You mean I'm going to rescue Hagrid next year?' asked Harry. 'Hagrid's going to Azkaban?'  
  
Suddenly, another Tom Riddle walked in, and they walked out happily chatting to each other. Harry sat as Dumbledore stared at him for another five minutes. The door burst opened again.  
  
'HARRY! HARRY! YOU'RE OK? HARRY!' Ron ran in panting. Hermione apparated in ('Finally, I learnt how to apparate').   
  
'What am I doing here anyway.' asked Harry. 'I thought I apparated back to my common room yesterday.'  
  
'You see Harry-' before Dumbledore could finish, Pomfrey started yelling, 'OUT! OUT! MY PATIENTS NEED TO REST!' as she chased Dumbledore, Ron, Hemione, Fudge, Filch and Flitwick out with a feather duster which feathers were hand plucked from Fawkes. Harry watched them as they ran out of the castle.  
  
'Dumbledore, Ron, Hemione, Fudge, Filch and Flitwick's been driven out of th is castle by a mere memory of me.' said Pomfrey to Harry.  
  
'They will never be gone, not as long as those who remain are loyal to them.' said Harry loudly.  
  
Suddenly Fawkes flew in and dropped the sorting hat onto him, and there ws some music from somewhere.  
  
'So this is what they have sent their great defender, a songbird, and an old hat. Let's match the power of Poppy De Pomfrey, lord of the hospital wing against the famous Harry Potter.' Pomfrey yelled as she grabbed the feather duster and started whacking Harry's face.   
  
Harry grabbed the sorting hat to protect his face and something dropped out. It was another feather duster. By the time he pulled ot the feather duster, Pomfrey had knocked the stuffings out of him and he fainted. The last thing he remembered, was that shrill evil crackle.  
  
  
  
The last day at Hogwarts was a cheerful one.   
  
Harry met Ron walking towards the great hall for the grand feast.  
  
'Harry! Harry! Harry! You're okay?' yelled Ron.  
  
'Hi Ron. Yeah I'm fine.' said Harry, 'But where's Hermione?'  
  
'Heard she's been petrified. And she'll be unpetrified soon.' replied Ron. They walked to the Gryffindor table. Nearly Headless Nick was floating around greeting people.  
  
'Good evening Sir Nicholas.'  
  
'Good evening.' he said.  
  
'Welcome back, Sir Nicholas.'  
  
'Thank you.'  
  
'Good to see you Sir Nicholas.'  
  
'Thank you.' said Nick, 'Hermione!' Hermione ran in screaming,  
  
'Hello, sir Nicholas! Harry! Ron! I've been unpetrified.' Then she disapparated and apparated beside Ron, smiling broadly at them. Percy was sitting at the teacher's table, probably the new Defence against the dark arts teacher because Umbridge wasn't there any longer.  
  
'Honestly Hermy, don't you read Hogwarts: A History?' asked Percy. Ron looked horrified. Oliver Wood was sitting beside Dumbledore chatting with him, having finally gotten his new pink flower dress. The two Tom Riddles were talking amongst themselves. Flich was talking to Norris and Mcgonagall was dancing with Flitwick. Hagrid was waving at Harry.  
  
'What did he call you? Hermy? Percy called you Hermy?' asked Ron still looking shocked. 'But what about your Vicky? He hasn't stopped writing to his Herm-own-ninny, has he?'  
  
Harry laughed and turned, Hagrid was still waving at him. Suddenly Draco and his bodyguards walked over.  
  
'Malfoy? Have you forgetten to gel your hair?' asked Hermione.  
  
'I stopped doing that in my third year, in case you didn't notice. Oh, I forgot, mudbloods can't see.' said Malfoy.  
  
'Draco's stopped doing it in his third year. Mudblood.' said Crabbe.  
  
'I forgot to do that in my third year, in case you forgot, I forgot mudbloods cannot see.' said Goyle.  
  
'Third year? I thought we're still in our second year.' said Harry.  
  
'We are in our fifth year. We've-' sid Ron.  
  
'Oh come on guys, we are still in our first year.' said Hermione. They opened their mouthes to argue but professor Mcgonagall had already started knocking her goblet with a fork, 'May I have your attention please?'   
  
Dumbledore stood up and said,  
  
'Another year have passed. As you all now, the exams had been cancelled because the professors forgot to set the paper,'   
  
Hermione was trashing her arms, 'What? How can they do this to me! Nooo... '  
  
'-recent events will have to be taken into account, two hundred points to Mr Harry Potter for rescuing me from the Chamber of secrets!!! Gryffindor WINS!!!' Dumbledore threw the house cup at Harry and started cheering. The whole hall turned scarlet and Malfoy was sulking at a corner. Harry heard him saying, 'Dumbledore again, that crackpot old fool.'  
  
'Dumbledore, the crackpot old fool.' said Crabbe.  
  
'Dubbledore is a crackpot old fool.' said Goyle.  
  
'Never insult Dumbledore in front of me.' shouted Hagrid as he took out his umbrella and pointed it at Goyle. Suddenly Goyle grew a tail, his parents appeared and started screaming, the three of them screamed and ran out.  
  
'Hagrid!! You're not supposed to keep your wand! AZKABAN!!!' shouted Dumbledore as Hagrid disapparated.  
  
'Wicked!'  
  
Harry and Ron went back to our common rooms to pack our bags before leaving. They were so sleepy that the slept. Harry had a strange dream, he was playing quidditch, Wood was supposed catch the snitch, but someone whacked a buldger at him and Harry needed to replace Wood. Then suddenly the dream changed. He was flying, he was a butterfly and flying though the sky. Ron was following him and Dumbledore was trying to catch him with a net. Then Dumbledore caught him, he screamed. Someone else screamed too. Harry woke up, his scar burning like crazy.  
  
'Huh?' asked Ron sleepily. The common room was empty. They realised that everyone else had already left together with the Hogwarts Express. They carried their trunks and ran out. There was no one.  
  
Then they saw the Ford Anglia, damaged but still great. They smiled at each other and climbed in.  
  
How was it? That was the last chapter of the year. Don't know whether to write another year. Please review. 


End file.
